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Short jokes - funny one liners (12881 to 12920)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 12881 to 12920. |
I have a lot of homeless relat...
I have a lot of homeless relatives in Hobo kin, NJ.#joke #short
A wise guy reporter was talkin...
A wise guy reporter was talking to a group of old men seated around the cracker barrel in a country store."Pop," he addressed one of the geezers, "Can you recall the name of the first girl you ever kissed?"
"Young man," the old duffer replied, "I can't even recall the last one."
#joke #short
Flies in a Lightbulb
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?Two, but I dont know how they got in there.
#joke #short
Trying to come to the aid of h...
Trying to come to the aid of his Dad, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the mischievous child piped up, “Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!”#joke #short #policeman
Religious suicide bombers? Som...
Religious suicide bombers? Some of these wacky terrorists have been smoking the koranic.#joke #short
With a
Q: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Thats womyn with a Y, and its not funny!
#joke #short
Al Gore And Leonardo DiCaprio
What's the difference between Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio?
One of them, due to circumstances beyond his control, was dragged down with the wreckage.
The other one is just an actor.
#joke #short
"Whom would you like to invite...
"Whom would you like to invite for your upcoming wedding ceremony?" Father asked his son"All except you and mom" the Son replied
"But why" Father angrily shouted
"Had you bothered to invite me for your ceremony!" the Son pleaded.
Did Franklin Roosevelt smell? ...
Did Franklin Roosevelt smell? Not, that was The odor.#joke #short
Yo mamma
Yo mamma is like a bicycle everyone gets a ride.#joke #short
Snooker Man
y did the snookerman go to the toilet, to pot brown!#joke #short
Bush Has a Short One
Q: Bush has a short one. Sarkozy has a long one. Cher does not use hers. What is it?A: A last name.
#joke #short
Is it true Dutch people get ar...
Is it true Dutch people get aroused when visiting Scotland?#joke #short
A boy comes home from school a...
A boy comes home from school and runs to his father.The boy says, "Dad, a boy in my class calls me a gay".
"Oh yeah? Well then beat him up!" says his dad.
The boy replies, "I can't dad!"
"Why not son?"
The boy looking away says, "Because he's kinda cute".
Tried and Trusted
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."
#joke #short
Little Johnny and the teacher
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Little Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am."
Little Johnny: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
#joke #short
Sign in a Police Station: It ...
Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.#joke #short #policeman
The second richest man in the world hates restaurants , and has even declared a war on buffets. #joke #short
Ronald McDonald in a N*dist Colony
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a n*dist colony?A: Look for sesame seed buns.
#joke #short
Why do Morris dancers wear bel...
Why do Morris dancers wear bells?So they can annoy blind people as well.
#joke #short
A man owned a very intelligent...
A man owned a very intelligent dog so, after a long period of time, taught him how to play poker. The dog did very well and won a lot of pots until the owner had to pull him out of the games. “He realized that whenever the dog held a really good hand he wagged his tail.”Which fashion label is really ...
Which fashion label is really big in Israel?#joke #short
Answering Machine Message 99
Beethoven's Fifth:
Nobody's home.
Why did you phone?
Please leave your message here when you have heard the tone,
And we will call you back as soon as we get home.
Your message here,
After the tone,
Here is the tone... tone... BEEP
#joke #short
What did the big chimney say t...
What did the big chimney say to the wee chimney? You can have my soot when I die.#joke #short
Blonde Password
During a recent password audit, our I.T. discovered a blonde was using the following password:MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento
When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Few know where the the practic...
Few know where the the practice of skinny dipping came from. It has murky organs.#joke #short
Women with beautiful hands adv...
Women with beautiful hands advertise bracelets, rings, nail polish.Women with beautiful legs advertise stockings, tights, shoes.
Women with beautiful breasts advertise bras, swimsuits, T-shirts, cars, washing machines, computer games, candy, furniture ...
#joke #short
Mimes
Whats black and white and red all over? Mimes in a chainsaw fight.#joke #short
Why did Stephen Hendry spend s...
Why did Stephen Hendry spend so long at the bus stop? He was at the end of the cue.#joke #short
Profiting from Mistakes
"Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a parishioner asked his minister.
"Definitely not," was the preacher's answer.
"Are you absolutely certain?"
"Yes, my son, absolutely."
"Okay. In that case, I wonder if you'd mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?"
Feminists Change a Light Bulb
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? 20: one to change the bulb, the rest to make a documentary all about it.#joke #short
