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Short jokes - funny one liners (1801 to 1840)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1801 to 1840. |
The first philosopher to postu
The first philosopher to postulate the existence of the private bathroom: John Locke.One day, an 80-year-old man co
One day, an 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, naked, against a wall.Shocked, he asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in."
Communicating with the deaf is
Communicating with the deaf is easier than learning Chinese, just ask a Signologist.As the coffin was being lowere
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral, a voice from inside screams: "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: "Too late pal, I've already done the paperwork."
The Atoms
There was once a police atom who ran into a suspect atom.
As they looked at each other the police atom said, "I've got my ion you!"
Every deaf man's dream i
Every deaf man's dream is to have aural sex.Where do you buy sarcastic pot
Where do you buy sarcastic pots?A Joke of Little Value
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Dig This!
Back in my hippie college days, a professor came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me, "Ya dig?"
I thought to myself, this guy's pretty far out. I answered, "Yeh, man. I dig!"
That's how I got hoodwinked into joining his archaeological expedition.
Tying a sheepshank is
Tying a sheepshank is plain knots if you ask me.The Inspired Sermon
The pastor was greeting folks at the door after the service. A woman said, “Father, that was a good sermon.”
The priest replied, “Oh, I have to give the credit to the Holy Spirit.”
“It wasn’t THAT good!” she said.
The man credited with inventin
The man credited with inventing the personal computer has died, due to a failure of his life support machine.His last words were, "Have you tried switching it off and on again?"
The Stagecoach
Bill: I know a man who drove a stagecoach and it didn’t have any wheels.
Ted: What held it up?
Bill: Bandits.
Australia's Biggest Export
Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.
It's also their biggest import.
Sounds effects pioneer
Sounds effects pioneer Thomas Dolby graduated from university magna cum loud. #joke #short
A punk walked into a barber's
A punk walked into a barber's shop and sat in an empty chair."Haircut, sir?" asked the barber.
"No, just change the oil, please!"
Another
Another update from South America's War on Drugs:Nobody ever talks about the Fo
Nobody ever talks about the Fourth Wise Man, who arrived late and gave Jesus the same gift as the last guy, to myrrh-myrrhs of disapproval.I told a few jokes in my showe
I told a few jokes in my shower. Nobody laughed. I said “Man, tough grout.”I'm addicted to drinking
I'm addicted to drinking saltwater. Giving it up will be no smooth saline.Move Along Folks
A cop breaks up a fight by two invisible men.
As the crowd gathers, he shouts, "Move along, folks. There's nothing to see here!"
When you go skydiving, it help
When you go skydiving, it helps to down a pair o' shooters.Social network for dead presid
Social network for dead presidents: Lincoln.When the weather's stick
When the weather's sticky in summer I feel glue-me.Soviet cannibals preferred din
Soviet cannibals preferred dining on Germans. Because they were total-eat-Aryans.Some Corner of the Earth
I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth...
But unfortunately, the earth is round.
In the '70s, where did m
In the '70s, where did music go to die? A: The ABBAtoir.The U.S. state that employs th
The U.S. state that employs the most illegal immigrants has a nickname, ie Call-a-foreigner.If Jesus worked for Gene
If Jesus worked for General Motors, would He be a car painter?She'll Break Many Hearts
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
