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Short jokes - funny one liners (2841 to 2880)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2841 to 2880. |
Mathematicians refuse to wear
Mathematicians refuse to wear g-strings. They don't have orthongonal values.Why should you just defecate i
Why should you just defecate in your hands if you really have to go?Russell Crowe Movie
“A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie?”
“Gladiator?”
“No, I really miss her.”
“I was really enjoyin
“I was really enjoying stargazing when it started to cloud over, much to my constellation.”
I want to askewron
I want to askew why you're not straight with me.“Flamingos are a real
“Flamingos are a real success story. They always seem to get a leg up on the competition.”
How did Shakespeare earn an in
How did Shakespeare earn an income? A: Barder.A used auto salesman, aka a
A used auto salesman, aka a cardealogist. #joke #short
Jewelry Salesman
A jeweler was on his way to work when he saw a sign that said “Watch for children”...
He thought to himself, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
I hate going to Belgium. All t
I hate going to Belgium. All that hustle and Brussels!A New Joke
Carl: I heard a new joke the other day. I wonder if I told it to you?
Lenny: Is it funny?
Carl: Yes.
Lenny: Then you didn’t.
Chemistry Song 10
We Wish You a Happy Halogen
We wish you a happy halogen
We wish you a happy halogen
We wish you a happy halogen
To react with a metal.
Good acid we bring
to you and your base.
We wish you a merry molecule
and a happy halogen.
Universal Remote Control
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.
I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"
A tall woman with a perky boso
A tall woman with a perky bosom probably enjoyed several growth perts.The Flies
Tourist: "The flies are awfully thick around here. Don’t you ever shoo them?"
Native: "Nope, we just let them go barefoot."
For every level of grief, ther
For every level of grief, there is a tier of joy.When it comes to Facebook,
When it comes to Facebook, the best defriends is a good offense.“Should we give arson
“Should we give arsonists a punishment to fit the crime, or would that just be adding fools to the fire?”
"If a man has a beautiful sten
"If a man has a beautiful stenographer, do you suppose that will cause him to take more interest in his business?" asked Mr. Piglatch."I don't know whether he will take more interest in his business," said Mr. Peckton, thoughtfully, "but his wife will."
What Does That Mean?
Teacher: Are you good in history?
Little Johnny: Yes and no.
Teacher: What does that mean?
Little Johnny: Yes, I’m no good in history.
I'm glad it's not
I'm glad it's not summer. Once, my computer almost exploded in the swell Turing heat.Ancestry
"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"
"I don't know," replied Miriam, "all of our records were lost in the flood."
“The mirror maker fel
“The mirror maker felt like it was time to retire from his work, he just couldn’t see himself doing it anymore.”
Jane Austen was a fan of onlin
Jane Austen was a fan of online enumeration. Just look at her book, Census and Sensible-IT.Half His Friends
Him: "Since Mr. Wilson has lost his money, half his friends don't know him anymore."
Her: "And the other half?"
Him: "They don't know yet that he's lost his money."
A diner at a country inn is sh
A diner at a country inn is shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in syrup." He summons a waiter to complain.The waiter looks at the menu. Then he flings it down and yells to the owner in the kitchen, "Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"
