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Short jokes - funny one liners (2841 to 2880)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2841 to 2880. |
If pork bellies trade on the N
If pork bellies trade on the NASDAQ exchange, do pork scrotums trade on the NADSAQ?“My Dad told me about
“My Dad told me about the new car racing movie that's coming out. It's going to be the fuel-good movie of the year.”
The Portland undertaker'
The Portland undertaker's society started a new periodical, called the Maggot Zine. It features weekly new fleshes. Apparently their readership is very dessicated. Since the Zine is free, they rely heavily on their Oregon donors.Are you crooked? Don't m
Are you crooked? Don't make me askew twice.Farmer's Daughter
How do you get the farmer’s daughter to fall in love with you?
A tractor.
“Great batsmen in cri
“Great batsmen in cricket score centuries by their will-ow power?”
Why Did You Go There?
A local citizen ran for a political position for the first time and won. "Congratulate me," he says to his wife. "I won the nomination!"
The wife replies, surprised, "Honestly?"
"Now why in thunder did you want to bring up that point for?"
“It was a love story
“It was a love story based in Austria ... about a Venetian who was blinded by Jalousie.”
Anyone who repeatedly paves a
Anyone who repeatedly paves a street is retarreded.The Canadian people will toler
The Canadian people will tolerate a dictator. Which is why its parliament is pro-roguing.Poor typists are rather ron
Poor typists are rather un qwerty nated.Filling Up
ME: "I will take $50 on pump one please..."
BARTENDER: "Sir, please get your mouth off the keg!"
I Don't Have Time
My 5 year old daughter drew a nice picture of a princess and beautiful flowers and sunshine...
Then she brought the picture to her daddy and said, "Daddy, this is a picture of you and me... but I don't have time to draw you."
Many Quebecers venerate their
Many Quebecers venerate their province's flag, but trample on the Canadian flag. One is the Fleur de Lis, the other is the floor doiley.Insurance Assurance
A man phoned to find out whether he could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted...
They assured him he would be covered.
Answering Machine Message 163
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.
“What do you call a s
“What do you call a survey you fill out after staying in a motel? Innput.”
A man approached a local perso
A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting."What's the quickest way to York?"
The local scratched his head.
"Are you walking or driving?" he asked the stranger.
"I'm driving."
"That's the quickest way!"
A prosthetic member for castra
A prosthetic member for castrated males: a eunuchorn.“What do you call an
“What do you call an arctic cold spell at the end of the year? Decemburr!”
The Israeli PM likes to surf t
The Israeli PM likes to surf the Net and Yahoo.Sign Says Yield
A hesitant driver, waiting for a traffic jam to clear, came to a complete stop on the freeway ramp. Traffic thinned, but the driver still waited.
Finally, a furious voice from the vehicle behind him cried, “The sign says to yield, not give up!”
“A group of ophthalmo
“A group of ophthalmologists proposed a resolution to make 2020 the 'Year of the Eye'. The resolution was passed unanimously. The Eyes had it!”
When the Gents eat cereal, the
When the Gents eat cereal, they prefer Serrated Wit.“How did the policema
“How did the policeman catch the grave robber? He crypt up on him.”
Tricycle ride
Tricycle riders dabble in communism.The Magician and Little Johnny
Mr. Magic: I can turn this handkerchief into a flower.
Little Johnny: That’s nothing. I can walk down the street and turn into an alley.
Recalled Chrstimas Toys
Recalled Christmas Toys
- Broken Bag-O-Glass
- Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit
- Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook
- Timothy McVays home Chemistry set
- Switchblade Barney
- Pork-n-Beany Babies
- Make your own moonshine kit
- Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)
We believe in rights for littl
We believe in rights for little people, and vigorously defend their freedom of reach.She Takes the Stairs
My girlfriend always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator...
I guess we are raised differently.
Fashion victims? Those with ti
Fashion victims? Those with tie-dyed pants are guilty of jeanocide.“I tried to mine diam
“I tried to mine diamonds but all I found was chalcedony, I'm sard to say.”
