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Short jokes - funny one liners (2881 to 2920)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2881 to 2920. |
Special Locket
Seeing her friend Marcia wearing a new locket, Ashley asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” says Marcia, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Larry’s still alive?”
“I know, but his hair is gone.”
Piece of rope
“What did one piece of rope say to the other before going into battle? 'Shall we join the fray?'”
Which member of the royal fami
Which member of the royal family collects photos of fat women?When the saviour of Nottingham
When the saviour of Nottingham Forest got an honourary degree from Oxford, he had to wear a robe and hood.
It is treasonous to tamper wit
It is treasonous to tamper with unlabeled stool samples. You will be branded a tray turd.The movie about pustules was a
The movie about pustules was a pox office smash.Watching Star Wars
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun. I said to keep warm.
She asked, "How warm is it inside?"
I said, "Lukewarm."
My friend knows that a bon mot
My friend knows that a bon mot is like a secret magical password. ‘Oh, pun!', says ami.The Flock Of Sheep
A cowboy was leading a flock of sheep down Main Street when he was ordered to stop by the town policeman.
“What’s wrong?” the cowboy asked. “I was just heading my ewes into a side street.”
“That’s the trouble,” the policeman replied. “No ewe turns permitted on Main Street!”
I can't afford long dist
I can't afford long distance calls. I'm down to my last far thing.Nosey Neighbors
I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she was googling my name last night on her computer...
I saw it clearly through my binoculars!
“On Halloween, what i
“On Halloween, what is the most read part of a newspaper? The 'Horrorscope.'”
A man who touches a woman̵
A man who touches a woman's leg is guilty of massage a knee.I bought some metal boots. The
I bought some metal boots. They lead me astray.I’ll Forget
Bob: Hey Al, you know you owe me $500.
Al: Yes.
Bob: I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll forget half of the money.
Al: That’s perfect, I’ll forget the other half.
Before live-action pornography
Before live-action pornography was legalized, XXX videos were shot exclusively in Playmation.Steadfast In My Beliefs
A trusted aid was counseling the senator, "Some of your constituents are beginning to disagree with you."
The senator replied, "Keep tabs on them. When enough disagree with me to constitute a reliable majority, I'll turn around and agree with them."
I Order You To Pay $10,000
Judge: "I order you to pay $10,000."
Mario: "Why?"
Judge: "It’s a fine."
Mario: "No itsa not!"
If you live in a tsunami zone,
If you live in a tsunami zone, your house should have tidal insurance.Slowest Man on the Job
The foreman on a contracted job started bawling out one of the men, "I've had slow men on jobs before but you are the slowest I've ever seen. Is there anything you are quick with?"
"Well," yawned the workman, "nobody can get tired as quick as I can."
“Asked to repair a sh
“Asked to repair a shorted radio from the dumpster, the electrician refused to refuse refuse.”
When you post graffiti on my w
When you post graffiti on my wall, it's deFacebook.“The stock boy was ho
“The stock boy was hogging all the available display space. He was being shelf-ish.”
