Short jokes - funny one liners (2921 to 2960)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2921 to 2960. |
“Asked to repair a sh
“Asked to repair a shorted radio from the dumpster, the electrician refused to refuse refuse.”
When you post graffiti on my w
When you post graffiti on my wall, it's deFacebook.“The stock boy was ho
“The stock boy was hogging all the available display space. He was being shelf-ish.”
If you touch the Queen's
If you touch the Queen's head on a penny, you could be arrested; that's what happens when you copper-feel.“Some students pore o
“Some students pore over their lessons, while others just give them a preflunktory glance.”
Love Is Blind
Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date...
Today I asked her to marry me...
She said no on both occasions.
Tooth Fairy
Bob: Last night I put my tooth under my pillow. This morning I found a dime there instead.
Joe: When I put mine under my pillow, I got a dollar.
Bob: WOW! You must have buck teeth!
Wrong Number
You have $400 and your daughter calls and needs $250. Later on you son calls and needs $100.
What do you have left?
$400 and 2 missed calls!
The local trade school
“The local trade school did not have enough students for their electrical course and thus decided to give it a plug.”
Judge: I hope you realize what
Judge: I hope you realize what awaits you if you give false evidence?Witness (gleefully): I surely do. Ten thousand Euros and a new BMW X6.
Christmas Alphabet
How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
25... there's no 'L'...
Rain Rain Go Away
It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it...
He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.
“My financial adviser
“My financial adviser says the thing about naked calls is there's too much exposure.”
Builders at Work
Artist: "This is my very latest painting. I call it 'Builders at Work'... it's very realistic."
Friend: "But they really aren't at work."
Artist: "Of course, that's the realism."
“While its true I've
“While its true I've been raking it in lately - when it comes to my neighbor's trees I wish they would just leaf me alone.”
Large Singing Group
"How much does it cost to buy a large singing group?"
“A choir?”
"Okay, fine... how much does it cost to 'acquire' a large singing group?"
Burning Calories
Me: "I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes."
Friend: "How?"
Me: "I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven."
“Only a nickel for an
“Only a nickel for an embroidered pinwheel? Good buy, crewel whirled!”
Flush Them Out
Sergeant: "Private, I think the enemy soldiers are hiding in the woods. I want you to go in there and flush them out for us."
Private: "Yes, sir! But if you see a bunch of guys running out the woods, don’t shoot the one in front, sir!"