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Short jokes - funny one liners (2801 to 2840)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 2801 to 2840. |
A Long Second Act
A couple of guys were discussing the latest play showing in the theater.
"I saw the first act, but not the second."
"Why not?"
"I couldn't wait that long. It said on the program that the second act was two years later."
During training exercises, the
During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddyback road encountered another car stuck in the mud with ared faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" askedthe lieutenant as he pulled alongside."Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him thekeys, "*Yours* is."
Your Mama Is So Flat
yo mama is so flat i couldn,t tell if she was walking forward or backwards.Wrong Extension
While working in the psychology department at a local college, I was asked to enlarge a chart for a meeting. I called the copy room and asked, "Can I get something blown up down there?"
After a pause, the voice on the line replied, "I think you want the chemistry lab."
Transatlantic zeppelins
Transatlantic zeppelins crashed so often they became known as dredgeables. #joke #short
“Can punsters possess
“Can punsters possessing the acumen to puncture the bloated ego of another by his pun pricks be called an acupuncturist?”
Does an executioner who gets nervous ...
Does an executioner who gets nervous about sending an aristocrat to the gallows suffer from performance hang-society? Out Of This World Learning
Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
“I tried my best to w
“I tried my best to write a poem about a frosty day, but I just could not make it rime.”
After centuries of procrastina
After centuries of procrastinating, mankind finally invented the lazer.I used ‘veranda' a
I used ‘veranda' as an expletive. It was a porch choice of words.
“Is trading a cephalo
“Is trading a cephalopod for a corvine avian considered squid pro crow?”
Couches don't like it wh
Couches don't like it when you make fun of them. They don't appreciate sat ire.I went to a comedy show on Hal
I went to a comedy show on Hallowe'en. It was a real boohaha!“The decision to lega
“The decision to legalize marijuana was made by a high government official.”
How does amputation work? By a
How does amputation work? By a process of alimb-ination“I want to start a bu
“I want to start a business selling artificial leather. I just need to know what a nauga is and how do I get its hide?”
To impress his date, the young
To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered."We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.
"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner."
My friend Grant had his skin f
My friend Grant had his skin forcibly removed. What a flay Grant violation.Someone threw a glass eye at m
Someone threw a glass eye at my newly augmented breasts, causing injury. They could make a movie about it: rong style="font-style: italic;">The Borrow An Eye, Dent a Titty.Love And Death
Woman: Do you love me?
Man: Yes, dear.
Woman: Would you die for me?
Man: No... mine is an undying love.
The best punster in history: <
The best punster in history: Adliberace.“A gang of beavers ro
“A gang of beavers roamed main street last night, cutting down several trees along Main Street. Police are stumped.”
