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Thanksgiving jokes - jokes about thanksgiving day (46 to 60)Jokes about thanksgiving day. These are the jokes listed 46 to 60. |
Thanksgiving Call
November 26, 2014
Old Age At Its Best
Contributed by Glen Tilley
Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.
One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it, and figured maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.
Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and lo and behold, there sat Russ.!
Sam was very excited and happy to see him, and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you.?'
Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for.?'
'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop, where I sometimes go.?'
'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her.?
'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.
'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
Thanksgiving Call
November 26, 2014
Old Age At Its Best
Contributed by Glen Tilley
Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.
One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it, and figured maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.
Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and lo and behold, there sat Russ.!
Sam was very excited and happy to see him, and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you.?'
Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for.?'
'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop, where I sometimes go.?'
'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her.?
'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.
'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
Blonde Thanksgiving
It was the first time a blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family, so she prepared a dinner by herself. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
"Mom, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" the blonde said.
"Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.
"I don't know," the blonde replied. "It wouldn't sit still!"
Thanksgiving Prayer
A 4-year-old boy was asked to pray before Thanksgiving dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation.He began his prayer, thanking the Lord for all his friends, naming them one by one.
Then he thanked the Lord for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank the Lord for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.
Then he paused, and everyone waited -- and waited.
After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank the Lord for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"
Q. What is a taxidermist's fa
Q. What is a taxidermist's favorite part of Thanksgiving?A. The stuffing.
Why isn't the turkey hungry a
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!Thanksgiving Trio
Three Thanksgiving Jokes:- Last Thanksgiving, I had my chance to do the traditional thing of shooting my own turkey. Man, you should have seen the people scatter in the meat department.
- When everyone at the table takes turns saying what they are thankful for, say, “I'm thankful I didn't get caught,” and refuse to say anything more.
- Keep your eye off the turkey dressing. It makes him blush!
Thanksgiving Turkey
One Thanksgiving, a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, "Happy Thanksgiving!"
Without hesitation my friend knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, "He gave you the bird!"
Football Tryout...
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line.When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, 'You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus.' 'Forget the bonus,' the turkey said, 'All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?'
Hymns for Her
One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."