The best jokes (15226 to 15240)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 15226 to 15240. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Dentist
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?"
"Didn't feel a thing!"
Habit
One of my favorite activities is making love to nuns.It's easy once you get into the habit!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Hospital Rules
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student aide, Sam found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need Sam's help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let Sam wheel him to the elevator. On the way down Sam asked him if his wife was meeting him. I don't know, he said.
She is still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.
Lemonade
My eight year old daughter was reading the back of a lemon juice bottle while we were eating our dinner. Noting that the bottle said that it was “not made from concentrate” she asked me what that meant.
I told her that it was made from distracted lemons.
While my wife was shaking her head in the disbelief, my daughter, in a thoughtful tone, said, “That must be why they got caught.”
Knock Knock Collection 124
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Marilyn!
Marilyn who?
Marilyn is a state north of Virginia!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Marion!
Marion who?
Marion on a Sunday!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Marion!
Marion who?
Marion haste, repent at leisure!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Marmalade!
Marmalade who?
Marmalade me said the little chicken!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Martha!
Martha who?
Martha them up to the top of the hill and the marched them down again!
Knock Knock Collection 079
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hacienda!
Hacienda who?
Hacienda the story!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hagar!
Hagar who?
Hagar, you with the stars in your eyes....!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Haifa!
Haifa who?
Haifa cake is better than none!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hair!
Hair who?
Hair today, gone tomorrow!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Haiti!
Haiti who?
Haiti see a good thing go to waste!
Douche
Have you heard about the new types of douche on the market?There is aloe vera scented, peach flavor, and chicken flavor.
The aloe vera is to tighten it up for the penis.
The peach is sweeter for the eater.
And the chicken is finger lickin' good.
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Tantilazing
Reniewed by Calamjo
Eugene Mirman: Pineapple Dog House Red
I dont speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I was in a situation where I had to be like, Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library? -- no problem.Steven Wright 03
Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn't pay for it.
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, "Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world . . . Perhaps you've seen it.
Studying the Red Planet ron...
Studying the Red Planet mars my evening plans.ATTORNEY: Do you recall the t...
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 P.M.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at t he time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
Whale of a time
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.He said to the female whale, 'Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time. It should cause the ship to turn over and sink.'
They tried it, and sure enough the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female,
'Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.'
At this point he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
'Look,' she said. 'I went along with the blowjob, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.'