The best jokes (16366 to 16380)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 16366 to 16380. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Didn't work 40 hours
“I didn't work 40 hours a week at the medical marijuana store. I was a pot time worker.”
“A seaman is forging
“A seaman is forging ahead when he writes graffiti on bathroom walls.”
“I use yeast most of
“I use yeast most of the time when I am baking, and I always use it on the ryes.”
Soap In My Chicken
Little Henry sits at the dinner table. He reaches for his plate, picks up a chicken leg, and starts to eat. His mother says, "Henry did you wash your hands?"
Henry replies, "No! I don’t want my chicken to taste like soap, mom!"
Many elderly grandmothers are
Many elderly grandmothers are cloak/cane addicts.A guy walks into a bar with an
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open.
After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"
The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
600 Story Hotel
Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.
Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.
The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story.They then started up the steps
After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.
A stranger's advice
A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in.
After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."
The first guy replies, "I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."
The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try.
When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face.
As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet.
Seeing her he screamed, "What the hell are you doing in here?!"
"Quiet!", she exclaimed. "You'll wake my mother."
Yuppie Farmer
A yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and told the proprietor he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks.
"That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor.
"I mean business," the city slicker replied.
A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said.
"Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him.
"Yeah," the yuppie replied: "If I can iron out a few problems."
"Problems?" asked the proprietor.
"Yeah," replied the yuppie: "I think I planted that last batch too close together."
Joke of the Day, posted everyday on getfrank.co.nz - Click to see the past weeks worth right here...
Peanut Butter and Jelly Day Jokes
Happy National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day! Celebrate April 2, 2025 with some deliciously nutty jokes:
Why did the peanut butter break up with the jelly?
Because it felt smothered!
What’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’s favorite type of music?
Smooth jams.
Why did the PB&J go to therapy?
They had a lot of spread-out issues.
What did the bread say after the PB&J got together?
“You two are really my jam!”
Want more puns? Check out this hilarious list of peanut butter puns.
Why did the peanut butter apply for a job?
It wanted to spread its skills.
What do you call jelly that’s always in a rush?
Jam-packed!
Why don’t peanut butter and jelly ever get into arguments?
Because they always stick together.
Here’s another funny one: The Peanut Butter Rooster.
What’s a jelly’s favorite pickup line?
“Are you toast? ‘Cause I want to be on you.”
What did the grape jelly say to the peanut butter at the party?
“Let’s jam!”
Why did the PB&J sandwich go to school?
To become a little smarter and more well-bread!
After being interviewed by the
After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, "Let me see if I've got this right: You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams.
You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps. You want me to do all this, and then you tell me I CAN'T PRAY?"
