The best jokes (16606 to 16620)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 16606 to 16620. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
A skeleton walks into a bar...
A skeleton walks into a bar, and says, "Give me shot, and a mop."
Calling It a Day
God: "Whew, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth."
Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"
God: "I think I'll call it a day."
Behind Every Great Man . . .
You've all heard that behind every great man is a woman, butyou may not have heard that behind every great woman is some
guy staring at her ass.
“I opened a shop sell...
“I opened a shop selling budgerigars. They're flying off the shelves.”
A busy MBA student
She realized how long she had been out of touch with her parents when she received the following e-mail from her mother:
"Dear Betty, your father and I enjoyed your last e-mail. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Mom."
At a seminar on American Socia...
At a seminar on American Social Justice, a Civil Rights leader opined, "Anti-Americans are killing the better Americans - the likes of Osama-bin-Laden, Bernie Madoff, John Gotti, to name a few - surprising and confusing most Americans."He further pointed out, "More surprising is the fact that Mob Wives are popular celebrities today."
His favorite chocolate chip cookies....
An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled down the stairs.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted: the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with aspatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral."
Creatures that rapidly expand ...
Creatures that rapidly expand and then explode are all swell and gooed, but where's the pun?The Bermuda Triangle used to b...
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.Chuck Norris eats the core of ...
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.Did You See That?
Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
