The best jokes (16876 to 16890)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 16876 to 16890. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Annual Convention....
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston"
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.."
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
“A Hall of Fame recen...
“A Hall of Fame recently opened to honor outstanding female soldiers. It was a WAC's Museum.”
Short funny jokes-Zebra crossing
The policeman said, "Can you explain why you are trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 25 meters away?"
'Well,' replied the jay walker, "I hope it's having better luck than me."
terminology
Important Legal TerminologyWhen a person assists a criminal in breaking the law BEFORE the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law AFTER the criminal has been arrested, we call him a defense attorney.
What do you get when two peas ...
What do you get when two peas fight?Simplified Income Taxes
REVENUE CANADA *T1-SIMPLIFIED TAX FORM
New Simplified Tax Form for 2000 Taxes
1. How much money did you make in 2000?
2. Send it to us.
The Fishing Trip
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They had sex for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation... She is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Why are there no Christmas-the...
Why are there no Christmas-themed breath fresheners? Anyone else out there share these santa-mints?Yo Mamma is so fat she...
Yo Mamma is so fat she fell in love and broke it!The pumpkin farmer refused to ...
The pumpkin farmer refused to raise cattle. He was afraid of being gourd.
A policeman spots this Bl...
A policeman spots this Bloke walking up Royal Ave. pulling a 12 foot long rope and asks, “What do you think you are doing pulling this 12 long rope up Royal Ave.?”
The Bloke replied: “have you ever tried pushing it?”
Yearly Exam
Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.The nurse starts with certain basics.
How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.
The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asks, 'Your height?'
'5 feet 4",' I say.
The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2".
She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high. 'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'
She put me on Prozac. What a bitch.
