The best jokes (17911 to 17925)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 17911 to 17925. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Can you see me?
An English man, French, Italian and German are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer.
The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded: "Yes" "Oui" "Sì" "Ja"
Authore:Melox94When the two magicia...
“When the two magicians liked each other on their first date, it was love at first sleight.”
Scary Collection 48
A wizard joke
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?
He was going as a banana!
A wizard joke
What do wizards do to get their kicks?
They drool over the pictures in "witch" magazine!
A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who lies on the floor?
Matt!
A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who has fallen into the sea on a barrel?
Bob!
A wizard joke
What must a wizard be to receive a state funeral?
Dead!
A wizard joke
What would happen if you threw lots of eggs at a wizard?
He would be egg-sterminated!
A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard turned a boy into a hare?
He's still rabbiting on about it!
Church Bulletin Bloopers: Weddings and Babies
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.The Honeymooners are now having bile studies each Tuesday evening at 7:30 p.m.The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.Thursday at 5:00 pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his private study.(For the group of ladies called Moms Who Care and pray for the children in school). When their meeting was cancelled one week: "There will be no Moms who care this week." - Joke shared on Beliefnet's Religious Humor pageAnswering Machine Message 27
Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra": Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can.Gallagher opened the morning n
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
Tourist in DC
A tourist climbed out of his hire-car in downtown Washington, D.C.
He was intent on visiting the White House and take in the city’s other world-famous sights, but he felt hungry so he decided to pop into a store to buy himself a snack.
As he pulled up to the curb outside the store, he saw a well-to-do man standing on the sidewalk.
He said to him: “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes.
Would you watch my car while I run into this store?”
“What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?”
“Well no,” the tourist said, “I didn’t realize that.
But it’s all right. I’ll trust you anyway.”
Knock Knock Collection 198
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Yachts!
Yachts who?
Yachts up, doc!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Yah!
Yah who?
Ride em cowboy!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Yehuda!
Yehuda who?
Yehuda dance all night!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Yelp!
Yelp who?
Yelp me, my nose is stuck in the keyhole!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Yoda!
Yoda who?
Yoda le lee whoo!
Question And Answer Blonde Jokes
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
Business Ethics – Educational
A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business. 'Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize she’s given you two $100 bills. Now, here’s where the ethics come in: should you or should you not tell your partner?'
I was on the Subway
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?'
I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
The Cesium Song 09
It's So Easy
(Tune, It's so Easy)
It's with Cesium I'm in love!
It's with Cesium I'm in love!
People say that I'm a fool,
When I take my Cesium into the pool.
And it's so easy,
So doggone easy,
Yes it's so easy,
Where my love's concerned,
To get myself burned.
But it's with Cesium I'm in love,
It's with Cesium I'm in love!
I look into her flame and see,
A sky-blue light floodin' over me.
Though it's so easy,
So doggone easy,
Yeah it's so easy,
When she's concerned,
To get myself burned.
Still it's with Cesium I'm in love,
It's with Cesium I'm in love!
---Songs of Cesium #87
