The best jokes (19066 to 19080)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 19066 to 19080. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Why did the flower seller expa
Why did the flower seller expand his shop?Look at Superman's abs.
Look at Superman's abs. The guy is krypt.Don't steal someone else
Don't steal someone else's dildo: You'll be convicted of criminal wrongdong.The fil
The film about the time composer Johann Sebastian so desperately needed money, he prostituted himself?It was recently discovered tha
It was recently discovered that spearfishers are gay. Because they Lance Bass.14 Physics Jokes that Scientist will love!
Why does a burger have less calories than a steak?
Because it is in its “GROUND” state!
Have you heard of the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.
He’s 0K now.
A photon checks into a hotel and the bell boy asks what luggage he carries. What could be Photon’s reply?
“I did not bring any luggage, I am travelling ‘LIGHT’.
How many general relativity theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
It takes two: One will hold the light bulb, and another will “rotate the space”.
Why can't you trust an atom?
Because atoms ‘make up everything’.
Why can’t you bring ‘electricity’ to parties?
Because it does not know how to ‘conduct’ itself.
You are in a high school and you see an experiment. How will you know which class it is?
If green and wiggly things are placed inside, then it's a biology lab. If it stinks, it's obviously the ‘Chemistry lab. However, if the experiment fails, it's a “physics” lab.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks about the price.
“For you sir, No charge at all!”
What does the male magnet say to the female magnet?
I saw you from the back, and thought you were ‘repulsive’, but now that I see from the front, I find you ‘attractive’.
What did a quantum physicist say before a bar duel?
Let me at-om!
What can a duck say to a physicist?
QUARK! QUARK! QUARK!
What did the Uranium-238 nucleus say to his partner?
We gotta ‘split’!
Two cats fall off a terrace at the same time, at the same speed. Which one did fall off first?
The one with the smaller “mew”.
What can a beginner’s guide to physics include?
Relativity: When the family gets bigger
Black hole: What you get in black socks
Critical mass: a group of film reviewers
Hyperspace: the place where you park your car at a megastore!
Empire of constipated software
Who made a fortune with his empire of constipated software?
Bilge Ates.
Do hermaphrodites check their
Do hermaphrodites check their shemail?Nelson Mandela is sitting at h
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder, "You sign! You sign!"
Nelson says to him, "Look mate, you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Push off", and shuts the door in his face.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, push off ! You've got the wrong bloke! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinaman thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are two very large trucks full of car parts.
This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says: "You not Nissan Maindealer?"
Since was pot legalized in Col
Since was pot legalized in Colorado, Denver has become known as the Smile High City.Risk Of Plane Bombs
A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non has terrible flight panic.
"Hey, don't worry, it's just every 10000th flight that crashes."
"1:10000? So much? Then it surely will be mine!"
"Well, there is an easy way out. Simply take the next plane. It's much more probable that you go from a crashing to a non-crashing plane than the other way round. So you are already at 1:10000 squared."
