The best jokes (19051 to 19065)

 Answering Machine Message 253

You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron.

Ducks can be interesting. They

Ducks can be interesting. They have such aquacktic personalities.

A cow's favourite prayer

A cow's favourite prayer is “Hail Mary, full of graze…” It's even more popular than the Our Fodder.

Puns about landmine mishaps ca

Puns about landmine mishaps can be classified as a leg gory.

I met a sheep swindler in the

I met a sheep swindler in the Yukon.

A salesman, and engineer, and

A salesman, and engineer, and a technician are driving in a car when, just outside of town, they get a flat tire. The three of them get out of the car and scratch their heads.
The salesman says, "Maybe I should walk into town and get us a new tire. I know that I can bargain with the man at the parts store and get us a great deal."
The engineer stops him, saying, "No, before you do that, we'll have to do some computations, figuring the grade of the road, the asphalt temperature, and the average rate of speed we will be traveling to know what kind of tire you should buy."
The technician laughs and shakes his head. "No, no, no! What's wrong with you guys? We have a spare tire in the trunk - now all we have to do is start swapping tires until we find the flat one!"

Give Up Reading

Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?
It’s a long story…

Don't open any letters f

Don't open any letters from the tax audit department! They could be smeared with fee-sees.

Did Tom get custody? N

Did Tom get custody? No Suri.

The situation in Egypt is tota

The situation in Egypt is totally MUBAR.

Most South Asian dance music o

Most South Asian dance music originates from Bhangradesh.

Nobody ever talks about the Fo

Nobody ever talks about the Fourth Wise Man, who arrived late and gave Jesus the same gift as the last guy, to  myrrh-myrrhs of disapproval.

The lawyer who got into cattle

The lawyer who got into cattle breeding put in many build-a-bull hours.

Too many radiation puns on thi

Too many radiation puns on this site?

Are mannaquins bread Are mannaquins bread for show?

#joke #short #food #bread