The best jokes (5221 to 5235)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 5221 to 5235. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
After a hard day's work,
After a hard day's work, Osama bin Laden likes to relax by applying ointments and a soothing bomb.Photographic Memory
Everyone has a photographic memory...
Some just still keep it on film...
And they never develop it.
The talking cockatiel
The talking cockatiel was an expert at parotty.His Favorite Is Luke Skywalker
My friend decided to get a face tattoo of his favorite Star Wars character.
You should've seen the Luke on his face!
New 2023 Thanksgiving jokes
What kind of dessert sticks to the wall?
Pie-der Man!
What do you call roasted vegetables that run from the kitchen to the table?
Hustle Sprouts!
Need more Thanksgiving jokes? We have huge Thanksgiving jokes collection
If the Mayflower brought the Pilgrims, what brought their dogs?
The Collie-flower!
What do you call the ghost of a turkey?
A poultry-geist!
Why are turkeys always grumbling?
They’re in a fowl mood!
Has this meat juice been listening to Joe Rogan?
It’s so baste!
How did the turkey get to Thanksgiving?
He rode the gravy train!
Why did the turkey’s dad make him eat nothing but stale bread?
To stuffin’ him up!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
He was trying to convince people he was a chicken!
These used to be plain old cranberries. Now, they’re a flying sauce-er!
(throw cranberry sauce across the room)
Boy I'm Glad To See You
A hunter lost his bearings and wandered around the forest in a daze. Suddenly, he spotted another man. Dropping his rifle, he threw his arms around the other's neck and screamed, "Boy am I glad to see you! I've been lost in these woods for three days!"
"Restrain yourself," cautioned the other sadly, "I've been lost here for a week."
A man died and he went to heav...
A man died and he went to heaven. In heaven there were very huge walls with millions of clocks attached on it. Sometimes a hand on a clock was moving a little bit.The man called Saint Peter: "Mr. Peter, may I ask you a question... What are all these clocks doing here?"
Saint Peter: "Every time when a woman on earth wants to have sex, the hand of her clock is moving a second."
Man: "So every woman has her own clock. But how are they organized?"
Saint Peter: "Over here we've got the Brunette-wall. Over there the black haired women-wall. And over there the blond-wall."
Man: "And what about a redhead-wall?"
Saint Peter: "Oh we use their clocks in the kitchen as a ventilator."
Signs of the times....
These are supposedly actual signs. You be the judge. Whether or not they are real, they sure are funny! In the front yard of a funeral home,
'Drive carefully, we'll wait.'
On an electrician's truck,
'Let us remove your shorts.'
Outside a radiator repair shop,
'Best place in town to take a leak.'
In a nonsmoking area,
'If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
On a maternity room door,
'Push, Push, Push.'
On a front door,
'Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.'
At an optometrist's office,
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
On a taxidermist's window,
'We really know our stuff.'
On a butcher's window,
'Let me meat your needs.'
On a fence,
'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.'
At a car dealership,
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
Outside a muffler shop,
'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.'
In a dry cleaner's emporium,
'Drop your pants here.'
On a desk in a reception room,
'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.'
In a veterinarian's waiting room,
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
In a Beauty Shop,
'Dye now!'
In a restaurant window,
'Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.'
Inside a bowling alley,
'Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.'
In a cafeteria,
'Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.'