The best jokes (5236 to 5250)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 5236 to 5250. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Back to Back
Last night, my wife and I watched two movies back to back.
Fortunately for me, I was the one who was facing the television.
#joke #short
Fulfilling A Fantasy
I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight to fulfill my fantasy...
That we have health insurance.
#joke #short
He was in ecstasy, with a huge
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again... back and forth... back and forth... in and out... in and out.She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end.
Her heart was pounding... her face was flushed... then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted, "OK, OK! I can't park the freaking car! You do it, you smug bastard!"
#joke
Blessing a Body…?
A newly ordained deacon was asked to hold a graveside service for someone with no family or friends. It was his first official assignment, so he eagerly agreed.Taking his duties very seriously, the deacon let early the next morning for the cemetery. However, he made several wrong turns and quickly got himself lost. When he finally arrived more than an hour late, the hearse was nowhere to be seen and the two workmen were eating lunch.The deacon got out of his car, quickly threw on his vestments, and hurried to the open grave. Looking into the pit, he saw that the vault lid was already in place. With a sign, he took out his prayer book and read the burial service. After he had left, one of the workmen said to the other, “Maybe we should have told him he just blessed a septic tank.” #joke #food #lunch #eating
A Chinese man had three daught
A Chinese man had three daughters. He asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry."I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest," said the eldest daughter.
He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest," said the second daughter.
He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground," said the youngest daughter.
#joke
A farmer goes to the bank to a
A farmer goes to the bank to ask for a loan. When the loan officer denies him credit the farmer's dog bites the officer. Then she turns around and bites one of the customers. The loan officer asks the farmer:I understand why your dog bit me. But why did she bite the customer.
I don't know...probably to get the bad taste out of her mouth.
Didn't See It Coming
Judy: Billy got fresh with me last night, so I slapped his face. But I was sorry just as soon as I did it.
Trudy: Because you care about him?
Judy: No, because he was chewing tobacco.
#joke #short
If you don’t have anything nice to say…
An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him, "You can stay here but we have one important rule: all students observe Mouna or a vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years." After practicing for 12 long years, the day came when the student could say his one thing or ask his one question.He said: "The bed is too hard."He kept going for another 12 years of austere discipline, meditation and silence and finally got the opportunity to speak again. He said: "The food is not good."Twelve more years of hard work and he got to speak again. Here are his words after 36 years of practice: "I quit."His Guru quickly answered: "Good, all you have been doing anyway is complaining."#joke #food
Baby Maybe
Saleswoman: "When this baby doll is put to bed, it goes to sleep just like a real baby."
Mrs. Williams: "Whoever made it didn't know much about real babies."
#joke #short
After a hard day's work,
After a hard day's work, Osama bin Laden likes to relax by applying ointments and a soothing bomb. #joke #short
