The best jokes (6646 to 6660)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 6646 to 6660. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
The Parisian Belle And The Midwestern Salesman
The owner and head of sales of a large furniture store in the mid-west arrived in Paris on a buying trip. As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady. However, she only spoke French and he only spoke English, so each couldn’t understand a word the other spoke.
He took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park.
Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to dinner.
After dinner, he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to several night-clubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening.
It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. He was utterly amazed and took her home. To this very day, he still doesn’t know how she guessed that he was a furniture salesman!
The most Interest Word in the English Language – Hysterical
Bee that lives in America
What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A USB.
Author:PM_ME_UR_VULVASAUR_Do Something Nice
Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away called his Blonde brother and told him, 'Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and send me the bill.'
Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.
But when the $200.00 bills kept arriving every month, he finally called his brother again to find out what was going on.
'Well,' said the Blonde brother, 'you said to do something nice for Uncle Charlie.
So I rented him a tuxedo.'
Love vs Marriage
Love is holding hands in the street.Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is Chinese take-out.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is deciding on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is a long, hot ride.
Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothings in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothings in the bank.
Love is a flickering flame.
Marriage is a flickering television.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough?!"
There were two bulls, a young
There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population and young George was pretty excited."Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?" asked George.
"George, relax. Here is how it works. We'll wait until they're lined up at the feed trough so we can have our way with the ladies in a nice orderly fashion," said Sam.
"Okay, I can do that," George answered.
Well, feeding time came and all the heifers were lined up just like Sam said and George was all excited to go down there but Sam had a few more instructions.
"Now George, here is how this is gonna work. I'll start at one end and you can start at the other. We'll meet in the middle," said Sam.
"OK, OK, let's go!" said George.
"Hang on George! One more important thing to remember. These gals will let us have our way but you have to show some respect and be polite. OK?" said Sam.
"Sure, sure," says George, "Let's go!"
Well, they go on down to the heifers all lined up. George starts at one end and Sam at the other. George is pretty excited, but he remembers Sam's instructions about being polite, so as he is going along he makes sure to say, "Thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, sorry Sam, thank you ma'am..."
"Who likes music?" asks a comm
"Who likes music?" asks a commander.Two soldiers step forward.
"OK you two. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor."
I Am Not the Only One
Teacher: "You are the only one in the entire class who makes so many mistakes in the homework assignment."
Student: "That is not true, I am not the only one. My parents are involved in this as well!"
Two Windmills
Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other one says, "Well, I’m a big metal fan."
An old man, a boy, and a donke
An old man, a boy, and a donkey were travelling. The boy rode the donkey while the man walked.In the first town they went to, the people all said; "How hard for that old man who has to walk!"
The two travelers heard this and decided that the boy should walk and the old man should ride.
In the next town, people whispered, "What a shame, he makes the little boy walk!"
So the pair decided that they should both ride.
In the third town, people all muttered about how cruel it was to make the donkey work so hard.
So the boy and the old man decided to carry the donkey.
On the way to the next town, they had to go across a bridge. As they walked across it, they slipped and the donkey fell in to the river and drowned.
The moral of the story is - If you try to please everyone, you will eventually end up losing your ass.
A blind guy on a bar stool sho
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A man went to the doctor compl...
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you.""I know," said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
A woman was on the witness sta
A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband."After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink it. Tell me, didn't you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?" the defense attorney prompted.
"Yes," she replied, "I think there was one moment when I felt sorry for him."
"And when was that?"
"When he asked for his second cup."
Burford is checking out of a h
Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men's Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, and takes a shit in the pot. Then he puts the plant back in the pot and leaves. Two weeks later, he gets a postcard from the hotel that says,"Dear Mr. Burford... All is forgiven. Just tell us...where it is?"
