The best jokes (14596 to 14610)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 14596 to 14610. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Chuck Norris is currently suin...
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.Chuck Norris has more Facebook...
Chuck Norris has more Facebook friends than Facebook has users.Juston McKinney: Parking Tickets in New York
The first ticket I got in Manhattan I thought was a misprint. Im like, No, this has got to be a mistake. You put a quarter in the meter out there and it runs out, its a $55 fine. Thats a little excessive. Now, I could see it if you parked in a handicapped persons living room, but not for the meter running out. It goes from 25 cents to $55. Thats a 22,000% increase. If you work in an office with ...
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.Jody and Sara live in the swam...
Jody and Sara live in the swamps of Louisiana.One day Sara came up missing.
It took three days for all of the locals and the sheriff to find Sara. The sheriff says to Jody, "I have bad news and I have good news about Sara."
"What is the bad news", asks Jody?
"We found Sara face down in the swamp, she's dead."
"Well what kind of good news can there be", ask Jody?
The Sheriff responded, "We got 24 blue crab off her, we decided to leave for another 3 days and run her again."
AOL Car
The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots of pretty colors and lights.
The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."
Arj Barker: Never Drive on Grass
I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with second-chance exits.Two Boll Weevils
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Demetri Martin: Glitter
I like to do crafts. I work with glitter quite a bit. Dont worry, I make tough stuff like daggers and skulls. The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever cause glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.Chuck Norris is the only perso...
Chuck Norris is the only person in history to receive a Platinum Medal in the Olympics.Parachute
Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute?It opens on impact.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
PREGNANT NUN
Q. HOW DO YOU GET A NUN PREGNANT? A.DRESS HER UP AS AN ALTER BOY.Need a good condom
A huge Indian walks into a convinient store."I need a good condom" The cashier replies: "Here's a pretty good one. This should be fine."
The next day the Indian returns.
"Me go ugh. Wive go ugh. Condom go CAPOW!"
cashier: "Well here, try this one. It's our heavy duty condom. This can stand up to anything."
The next day the Indian returns.
"Me go ugh. Wive go ugh. Condom go CAPOW!"
cashier: "That's insane! Here try this one. It's made out of pure tire rubber. This thing could stand up to King Kong."
The next day the Indian returns.
"Me go ugh. Wive go ugh. Condom go ugh. Left nut go CAPOW!"
