Independence Day Jokes

July 4th is Independence Day (US National Holiday)! Find jokes about it!

Why do Bigelow employees like the Fourth of July so much?
They love to celebrate liber-tea!

What is red, white, black and blue?
Uncle Sam when he takes a tumble down the stairs.

Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in the New York harbor?
It can’t sit.

What do you call a duck who says ‘bang’?
A firequacker.

Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?
It cracked me up!

What was the popular dance in 1776?
The indepen-dance.

Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?
Laugh-ayette

What did one flag say to the other?
Nothing, it just waved!

Was the Declaration of Independence written in Philadelphia?
No, it was written in ink!

What happens when you cross a stegosaurus with a firework?
Dino-myte!

What did the ghost say on the Fourth of July?
Red, white and boo.

What do you eat on July 5th?
Independence Day-old pizza.

Who was the dog that announced, “The British are coming”?
Paw Revere.

Who doesn’t get a day of July 4?
Fire – fire works.

What’s red, white, blue and green?
A seasick Uncle Sam.

What has feathers, webbed feet, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?
The duck-laration of happiness.

What happens if you cross a Declaration signer and a rooster?
John Hancock-a-doodle-doo

What is the best sport to play on the Fourth of July?
Flag football.

Where is the capital in Washington, D.C.?
At the beginning.

What do you call a snowman on the Fourth of July?
A puddle.

What do you call a patriotic cartoonist?
A Yankee Doodler.

Why are there no Fourth of July knock-knock jokes?
Because freedom rings.

What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck?
One of them has their face on a bill and the other one has a bill on their face.

Where did George Washington keep his armies?
In his sleevies.

What did the tourists say when they left the Statute of Liberty?
Keep in torch!

What do ducks love about the Fourth of July?
Firequackers.

What do firecrackers eat at the movies?
Pop-corners.

Why couldn’t George Washington sleep at night?
Because he couldn’t lie.

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say on Independence Day?
May the fourth be with you!

What did the little firecracker say to the big one?
“Hi, Pop!”

What do you call a red, white and blue pie?
Pastry-otic.

What do you call a Fourth of July accident at Mount Rushmore?
A monumental disaster.

What is the most patriotic dog breed?
Yankee Poodles

What was Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?
Fire crackers.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.

Why can’t you skip out on the Fourth of July barbecue?
It would be a missed-steak.

What do an American flag and a sad candy cane have in common?
They’re both red, white and blue

What did the revolutionaries wear to the Boston Tea Party?
Tea-shirts.

What did the firework seller say to his colleague on July 4?
Business is booming!

Did you hear about the angry firework?
He was so mad, he exploded!

Why did Paul Revere ride to Lexington on his horse?
Well, the horse was too heavy to carry.

What’s a firework’s favorite song?
“Pop it Like it’s Hot.”

What do fireworks eat when it’s hot out?
Popsicles!

Who is the least guilty president?
Lincoln – he’s in a cent!

Which Founding Father is a puppy’s favorite?
Bone Franklin.

What has four legs, a shiny nose and fought for England?
Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer.

Whose favorite lyric in "The Star Spangled Banner" is “Oh say can you see”?
An optometrist!

How do Americans spend their Fourth of July weekend?
Getting stuck in traffic.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
(Just like how the British turned red when they saw the Americans dressing up as independent!)

#independenceday