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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 05 November 2008

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 05 November 2008

Corporate Lesson 4

Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
#joke

  • Currently 2.75/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (4)

A special celebration...

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days."

Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and your bride celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?"

"Yup, we sure are," Roy replied.

"Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked.

The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our 25th anniversary, I took the misses to Tucson. For our 50th, I'm thinking about going down there again to pick her up."

#joke
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

SLIDESHOW #126 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Why are some fish at the botto...

Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of school!

Helen Lewis, Leith
If you have a joke to share with us, e-mail: letters_ en@edinburghnews.com


The full article contains 38 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
Page 1 of 1

  • #joke
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (2)

FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (...

FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9 With her marriage she got a new name and a ! dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw he! r first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

#joke
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (3)

Wife: I'm gonna make you reall...

Wife: I'm gonna make you really sorry! I'm going to leave you! Husband: Make up your mind! Which one is it gonna be?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (2)

What Was The Problem Before?


Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.

After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."





#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Farmers Courting

Young Dave was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Dave's porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Dave spied his prize bull doing the business on one of his cows. He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the hard word on Mabel.

He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to be doing what that bull is doing."

"Well then, why don't you? "Mabel whispered back. "It is YOUR cow."

#joke
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (2)

Babe-raham Lincoln

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln." protested the barkeep.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (4)

Bereavement

A bereaved wido...

Bereavement

A bereaved widow is at her husband's funeral. “We were married thirty- five years before he died.” She said, dabbing away the tears. “Never had an argument in all those years.”

“Amazing,” said a woman next to her. “How did you do it?”

“I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”

November Horoscopes

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (6)

Really g...

Really good ways to loose your job:

Grow a cannabis plant on your desk.

Bring a sleeping bag to work for those little afternoon naps.

Start a mexican wave every time someone leaves their desk.

Hide kippers under your boss's desk.

Dirty protest the toilet walls with a bisto solution.

Call the boss to your desk and tell him his work isnÂ’t up to scratch.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 August 2008
  • Currently 5.22/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (9)

I was in a hurry. I was drivin...

I was in a hurry. I was driving like a maniac, running lights, driving on the sidewalk, and cutting people off.

I had just cut in front of this guy when he yelled "You …….! If I were a cop I'd give you a ticket!"

I yelled back "You Idiot, if you were a cop I wouldn't be driving like this!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 01 July 2008
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

Dents

A blonde was driving home after a football game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, ...
"HELLLLO" "You need to roll up the windows"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 6.83/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (36)

Wet joke

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled.
"I'm so wet, give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.58/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (12)

9 out of 10 doctors agree

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

Jay Leno (April 28 1950-)

Picture: Reuters

#joke #short #doctor
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Medication

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed To me has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

#joke #doctor
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (11)

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