Jokes of the day for Thursday, 08 November 2012
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 08 November 2012 |
College Rules
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
Good jokes-Habit
The Nun replies, "Ok, Just this time."
On reaching the Convent, he asks her, "Can I kiss you?"
She says, "Ok, fine with me, but do not get into the habit."
Baseball bat...
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register.
"Cash or charge," the clerk asked.
"Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!"
"Shall I gift wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?"
Oh the Internet is slow
The Net is SlowOh, the network outside is frightful,
But on campus, it's so delightful,
Our packets have nowhere to go,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
It doesn't show signs of stopping,
All our packets, our hosts are dropping;
Bandwidth is turned way down low,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
When we finally connect to a site,
It's time to go back to the dorm;
But if I could stay here all night,
I could submit their Web form.
The network is slowly dying,
And, I fear, we're still denying,
But as long as Sprint is the way to go,
Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
Liberal Jokes
Question - What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
Answer - A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
Question - What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?
Answer - A competent liberal President.
Question - Why do the male members of the Kennedy family cry while having sex?
Answer - Mace.
Question - Who was the first liberal Democrat?
Answer - Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been and did it all on borrowed money.
Liberals are like seagulls: all they do is squawk, eat crap, and they are protected by the government.
Family Bible
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. “Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.
“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.
With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, “It's Adam's Suit!”
Chuck Norris once broke the la...
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.One night, as a couple lay ...
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
What does the starship enterpr...
What does the starship enterprise and tiolet paper have in common? They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons.
Hari Kondabolu: Where Are You From?
Hes like, Hey, man, where are you from? So I told him, Im from Queens, New York. And then hes like, No, I mean where are you really from? Which, for those of you who dont know, thats code for, No, I mean, why arent you white? 
