Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 18 June 2013 |
Hilarious jokes-Possibly dead
One asks the other, "How's the husband doing?"
The other replies, "He is possibly dead."
The first woman asks, "What do you mean..possibly dead?"
The second woman answers, "Well, the s*x is the same but he hasn't done any work on the Harley in the last 10 days!"
How many is a Brazilian?
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster announces that six Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident.
The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably.
Confused, her husband says: "It is sad, but they were skydiving. There were risks involved."
"I know," the blonde says. "But how many is a Brazilian?"
The boy and the bible...
A little boy opened the big old family Bible and with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!"
Foreign Language
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"
A Little Cannibalism Humor, Folks
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?
Reaching the end of a job inte...
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Strong Medicine for the Nun
Pat is not feeling very well and he decides to go to a doctor. While he is waiting in the doctor's reception room, a nun comes out of the doctor's office. She looks very ashen, drawn and haggard.
Pat goes into the doctor's office and says to the doctor: "I just saw a nun leaving who looked absolutely terrible. I have never seen a woman look worse."
The doctor says: "I just told her that she is pregnant."
Pat exclaims: "Oh my, is she?"
The doctor responds: "No, but it sure cured her hiccups."
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon...
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.Government Philosophy: If it a...
Government Philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is.Chuck Norris is the reason why...
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.Stop smoking
What the best way to get a guy to stop smoking after sex?Fill his water bed with gasoline.