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Jokes of the day for Monday, 19 October 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 19 October 2020

What did Tonto put on his sush

What did Tonto put on his sushi when undergoing cancer treatment?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.29/10

Rating: 1.3/10 (14)

What's In Your Future

Teacher: "Okay class let's start by sharing our dreams. What's yours David?"
David: "My dream is to earn $20,000 a month like my dad."
Teacher: "Wow! Your dad earns that much?"
David: "No ma'am, that's also my dad's dream."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

A woman answered her front doo

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.
"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"
"My babysitter's boyfriend."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.37/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (19)

One bright, beautiful Sunday m

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town ofJohnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before theservice started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews andtalking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared in front of the congregation.Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance,trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the church except for one elderlygentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly obliviousto the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said,"Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't youafraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "I been married to your sister for 48 years."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 04 January 2020
  • Currently 8.72/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (25)

New household cleaner

Did you hear about the new household cleaner just put on the market?

It's called "Bachelor."

Why?

Because it works fast, and leaves no ring.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 07 November 2014
  • Currently 5.46/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (13)

 Hahahahahaha

The joke is:























!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 19 October 2018
  • Currently 1.41/10

Rating: 1.4/10 (76)

A girl was visiting her blonde...

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 19 October 2016
  • Currently 8.46/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (50)

Afraid of the Dark

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

#joke #mother
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 October 2010
  • Currently 6.21/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (38)

Good news...bad news...

"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client.

"First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress."

"Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is down to 140!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 19 October 2011
  • Currently 6.69/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (39)

Jim Gaffigan: The Book vs. the Movie

You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? Theyre always so condescending. Ah, the book was much better than the movie. Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 October 2010
  • Currently 5.64/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (39)

Sermon made him pay income tax

After hearing a sermon about lies and deceit, a man wrote the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have reviewed my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $900.
If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 08 March 2018
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

Monday Lisa

Monday Lisa
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 05 June 2016
  • Currently 6.15/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (13)

Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2...

Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2 dogs. Then I again give you 2 dogs. How many will you have?
Student: 5.
Teacher: How?
Student: I have a dog in my house now.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 August 2018
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (14)

I would tell you a j...

“I would tell you a joke about squirrels, but you would go nuts.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 24 November 2017
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Your Breast is Loose

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

She says, "Why, officer?"

"Because your breast is hanging out."

She looks down and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!"

Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 30 May 2016
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

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