Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Friday, 19 October 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 19 October 2018

“The man working in a

“The man working in a dowel factory has his job pegged.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Adam & Eve Jokes for Kids

Q. At what time of day was Adam created?A. A little before Eve. Q. Did Eve never have a date with Adam?A. No, it was an apple. Q. Where is the first math problem mentioned in the Bible?A. When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

SLIDESHOW #107 - Funny Photo Slideshow

 Hahahahahaha

The joke is:























!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.45/10

Rating: 1.4/10 (69)

A man goes to the eye doctor.

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there.
The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?"
The man replies, "No, just spots."
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (16)

How To Annoy Your Co-Workers...

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly thesame outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. Thisis especially effective if your boss is a different gender thanyou.

3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer tothem only by these names. 'That's a good point, Sparky.''No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with youthere, Cha-cha.'

4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling themexactly what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needsme, I'll be in the bathroom.'

5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them asmuch since you did this.

6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.Call everyone Madge.

7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When youemerge to get coffee, a printout, or whatever, slap yourself atrandom the whole way.

8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tellpeople you're waiting for your document.

9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything,ask him or her if they want fries with that.

10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engagingyourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to aco-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a littlesynchronized chair-dancing.

12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it 'IN'.

13) Develope an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza,donuts, or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back towork complaining that they found none, lean back, pat yourstomach, and say, 'Oh you've got to be faster than that.'

15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Onceeveryone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch toespresso.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 25 October 2015
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

A man and his wife were drivin

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York toCalifornia.
Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station andfill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to thehigh octane pump.
"What can I do for ya'll?" asks the attendant. "Fill 'er up with high test,"replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's lookingthe car up and down.
"What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before."
"Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "This, my boy isa 1999 Cadillac DeVille."
"What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant.
"Well," says the driver, "It has everything. It's loaded with power steering,power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CDplayer in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack andpinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrumentpackage, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine."
"Wow," says the attendant, "That's really something!"
"How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver.
"That'll be $30.17," says the attendant.
The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes intohis other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the changeare a few golf tees.
"What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant.
"That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver.
"Wow," says the attendant, "Those Cadillac people think of everything!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 07 December 2014
  • Currently 6.15/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (13)

A girl was visiting her blonde...

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 19 October 2016
  • Currently 8.29/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (45)

Good news...bad news...

"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client.

"First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress."

"Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is down to 140!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 19 October 2011
  • Currently 6.42/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (36)

Afraid of the Dark

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 October 2010
  • Currently 5.89/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (35)

Jim Gaffigan: The Book vs. the Movie

You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? Theyre always so condescending. Ah, the book was much better than the movie. Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 October 2010
  • Currently 5.53/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (34)

Barking Dog

Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard - now we'll see how they like it!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 19 October 2015
  • Currently 8.14/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (22)

What My Doctor Told Me

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.
Well he actually said "less McDonald's", but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Groups of Americans were trave...

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
"These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"
A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 17 January 2017
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

A drunk man who smelled like b...

A drunk man who smelled like booze sat down on a bench next to a priest.The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being withcheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,'then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the manand apologized. 'I'm very sorry.
I didn't mean to come on so strong.How long have you had arthritis?
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father.I was just reading here that the Pope does.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 April 2018
  • Currently 8.48/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (21)

Launderette reunion

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.

"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

"Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?"

"Opened a can of peas instead."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 28 August 2017
  • Currently 8.14/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (22)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.