Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 30 June 2021
Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 30 June 2021 |
Is the overuse of prescription
Is the overuse of prescription drugs leading to the End of the World?Top 10 Reasons to Celebrate Easter
10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments." 9. You look really, really good in yellow. 8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge. 7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad. 6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies. 5. It's a good time to check out your neighborhood church and not be noticed. 4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason. 3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play." 2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot. 1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too?May Joe R.I.P.
Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.
"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."
"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"
"Two and a half carats."
A little girl was asked what s
A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother.""Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn't time before your birthday."
"Why don't you do like they do down at Daddy's factory when they want something in a hurry? Put more men on the job."
The habit...
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.
Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."
Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what "you've" been doing."
There were two buddies, one wi...
![There were two buddies, one wi...](/jokes-archive/2015/06/30/There-were-two-buddies-2C-one-wi-.jpg.400.jpg)
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."
The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."
The man at the door says, "Come on in."
The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
If you can see Chuck Norris, h...
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.The very high health care costs
![The very high health care costs](/jokes-archive/2010/06/30/The-very-high-health-care-costs.jpg.400.jpg)
In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month waiting list for abortions.
A Collection Of Insults
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.A few guppies short of an aquarium.
A few inches short of a foot/yard.
A few kernels short of an ear.
A few kopeks short of a ruble.
A few links shy of a chain.
A few measures short of a staff.
A few open splices.
A few peas short of a pod/casserole.
A few pickles short of a jar.
A few pies short of a holiday.
A few planes short of an Air Force / hangar.
A few points short of a polygon.
A few revisions behind.
A few sandwiches/apples/ants short of a picnic.
A few screws loose.
Bill Burr: Rednecks to Afghanistan
![Bill Burr: Rednecks to Afghanistan](/jokes-archive/2011/06/30/Bill-Burr-3A-Rednecks-to-Afghanistan.jpg.400.jpg)
Job interview
![Job interview](/jokes-archive/2023/05/09/Job-interview.jpg.400.jpg)
On a job interview, the manager handed me his laptop and said, "Sell this to me."
So, I took it, left the office, and headed back to my place.
Eventually, he phoned me and demanded, "Return my laptop immediately!"
I said, "$300, and it's yours!"
There is a knock on the pearly...
![There is a knock on the pearly...](/jokes-archive/2015/05/03/There-is-a-knock-on-the-pearly-.jpg.400.jpg)
“No” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously.
“They are trying to resuscitate me.”
On Your Marks
![On Your Marks](/jokes-archive/2023/05/04/On-Your-Marks.jpg.400.jpg)
Two n*dists were discussing politics.
One says, “Have you read Marx?”
The other nods, “It’s these blasted wicker chairs."
The Shopping Criminal
![The Shopping Criminal](/jokes-archive/2011/06/04/The-Shopping-Criminal.jpg.400.jpg)
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened."