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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 08 October 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 08 October 2022

Ya Gotta Hook Em' To Cook Em'

Did you hear about the angler who baited his hook with peanut butter?
All he would catch was jellyfish!

#joke #short #food #butter
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

No room at the inn

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past.

I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning, the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?" "Nope. I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight beautiful,'

...and he sat up all night watching me."

#joke #food #breakfast
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 26 October 2016
  • Currently 8.47/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (15)

Old Goat

The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner.
While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"    

#joke #animal #goat #food #dinner #meal
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 21 July 2015
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

Car pouleting...

Car pouleting is for chickens.
#joke #short #animal #chicken
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 07 April 2010
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Why White?

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

#joke #wedding #bride
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 08 October 2012
  • Currently 7.06/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (52)

In honor of Chuck Norris, all ...

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 October 2011
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (52)

Blondes on a plane

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland.

Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".

An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 October 2011
  • Currently 5.94/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (48)

K9 Is For Assistance

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 October 2016
  • Currently 8.53/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (40)

Jim Gaffigan: Wish I Was Ethnic

I wish I was ethnic; Im nothing. Cause if youre Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, Hes got a Latin temper. But if youre a white guy and you get angry, people are like, That guys a jerk.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 October 2011
  • Currently 5.24/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (33)

Government budget cuts?

Government budget cuts? I abhor fiscal violence.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

She Changed Her Name

She wanted to buy personalized license plates but she couldn't afford them.
So she changed her name to JKM345.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

A distraught investor called h...

A distraught investor called his financial advisor. “Is my money really all gone?”
He wailed. “No, no,” the advisor answered calmly. “It’s just with somebody else!”
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 October 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

7 short jokes for a good Tuesday

I asked my friend when his birthday was, and he said, "March 1st".
So I walked around the room like a soldier and asked him again.

I left my job today. I couldn’t work for that man after what he said to me.
He said: "you’re fired."

My wife and I were walking through the park today and we passed a large groups of nuns.
I said wow what an opportunity for a joke, but I’ve got none.

Daughter: "How do I look, Dad?"
Me: "With your eyes, sweetie."

A dad went into his 13 yr old daughter's bedroom to find her smoking.
"How long have you been smoking?" he shouted.
"Since I lost my virginity," she replied.
"You lost your VIRGINITY?" he shrieked. "When the hell did this happen?"
The daughter replied, "No idea, I was drunk!"

A sweet old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He eats a few and asks her why she isn't having any herself.
"Oh they're too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn't."
"Why did you buy them all then?" wonders the driver.
"You see, I just love the chocolate they're covered in!"

"Come into the bedroom and I'll show you a good time," I said to the wife.
When she came up I showed her pictures of me and my mates before I met her!

#joke #food #peanuts #chocolate
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 9.07/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (15)

That look on your face when yo...

That look on your face when you realize it's a Friday!
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 08 January 2016
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

A man has to leave the country...

A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, he was to be notified immediately.
After about a week of no news the business man received a telegram: "The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday..."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 07 June 2015
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

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