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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 27 December 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 27 December 2022

Operating Room

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

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The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
"Whoa!" the second kid replies. "Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."  

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

Out of Eden

A Sunday school teacher asked her students to draw a picture of their favorite Old Testament story. As she moved around the class, she saw there were many wonderful drawings being done. Then she came across the drawing of one little boy. He was busy drawing a man driving an old car. In the backseat were two passengers—both scantily dressed.”"It's a lovely picture,” prompted the teacher, “but which story does it tell?”The little boy seemed surprised at the question. “Well,” he exclaimed, “doesn't it say in the Bible that God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden?”
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (11)

Happy on Monday

What do you call a person that is Happy on Monday?
RETIRED!

Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.50/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (10)

If you live beneath a sewer, y

If you live beneath a sewer, you are destined for grateness.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 14 July 2017
  • Currently 2.44/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (9)

Adam's ribs

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he were ill, and said. "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

#joke #mother
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 13 January 2017
  • Currently 7.95/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (20)

A little boy asked his teacher...

A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom,so she said yes. When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class his teacher asked, 'What do you have in your hand.'The boy said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away.'
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, 'What do you have in your hand.'
So the little boy said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent home and his mom asked him 'What do you have in your hand.'
So the little boy said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent to his room and his dad came in and said, 'What do you have in your hand.' So again the little boy said, 'A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he get scared away.'
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, 'Open your hands!'
And the little boy said, 'Look Dad you scared the crap out of him.'
#joke #mother #mom
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 December 2009
  • Currently 4.97/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (64)

Josh Sneed: After-Christmas Sale

I was walking back through this mall in January; there was a girl in front of Victorias Secret who stopped me. She was like, Hey, hows it going? I was like, Good, how are you? She goes, Well, Im curious, are you shopping for a wife or girlfriend today? I was like, No, why? She goes, Well, were having this after-Christmas sale, and all our bras are 50% off. And I go, I like when your bras are 100% off.
#joke #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 27 December 2010
  • Currently 5.76/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (42)

A wife went to the police stat...

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.
She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
#joke #policeman
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 27 December 2016
  • Currently 8.53/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (40)

Don't Do It

A man was watching TV and enjoying a beer. "Don't go," he yelled at the screen. "Do not enter that building. Walk away. Argh, you stupid man!"
His wife called from the kitchen, "What on earth are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."

Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 December 2019
  • Currently 8.79/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (34)

Why Eve Was Created

Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
And the #1 reason why God created Eve...
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 09 March 2016
  • Currently 5.47/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (15)

A Different Nighttime Prayer

We’ve been letting our six-year-old go to sleep listening to the radio, and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a good idea. Last night he said his prayers and wound up with: “And God bless Mommy and Daddy and Sister. Amen—and FM!”
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 22 March 2015
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

The avid golfer

Bill, an avid golfer, contacts a "Medium" and asks if there is a Golf Course in Heaven. The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to Bill in a few days.

After several days go by, Bill finally gets a call from the Medium. "Well," said Bill, "what did ya find out?"

"I've got good news and bad news for you," said the Medium.

"OK," "what's the good news" Bill exclaimed.

"Well," there is a beautiful 36 hole golf course in Heaven, and you'll have 24 hour access with your own personal caddy," blurted out the Medium.

"And the bad news?" asked Bill.

"You're due to tee-off this Sunday at around 10:30 in the morning."

#joke #sport #golf #golfer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 30 September 2015
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (12)

What do French cannibals eat for breakfast?

What do French cannibals eat for breakfast?
Hommelettes!
#joke #short #food #breakfast
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 October 2021
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

It was the first day of school...

It was the first day of school and the teacher was asking the little boy about his family.
"And what does your Daddy do?"
"He's a magician."
"That must be exciting, what tricks can he do?"
"He can saw people in half."
"That is clever, and tell me do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"Yes, one half brother, and two half sisters."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 August 2018
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

I Want To Buy That

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 07 February 2019
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

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