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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 15 June 2024

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 15 June 2024

Take the Books Too

The bank robbers tied and gagged the employees in one room and the manager in his office. On their way out they noticed the manager was making desperate noises to catch their attention.
Moved by curiosity, one of the burglars loosened the gag and heard the man’s plead, “Please take the books too, I’m $5000 short!”

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.64/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (14)

Which bus...

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.

She looks the man up and down and says, I've got news for you. "You're going straight to hell!"

The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Shoot, I'm on the wrong bus!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 16 July 2015
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

Macgyver can build an airplane...

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 June 2011
  • Currently 2.08/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (62)

Shooting The Bull

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

#joke #animal #bull #sport #hunting
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 June 2012
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (43)

Jonathan Corbett: Retired Father

My dad is retired now, and he moved to Florida. And its really great to be able to finally go down and visit him now that hes finally able to do those things in life that hes always wanted to do, which apparently is start drinking at noon and then head on out to buy me ugly shirts.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 June 2011
  • Currently 3.43/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (42)

Vic Henley: Soccer Heckling

All the British fans start singing to the German fans, If you won the war, stand up! Right, I think this is the greatest thing Ive ever heard at a sporting event because theres no snappy comeback for that, is there?
#joke #short #sport #soccer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 15 June 2010
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (39)

Recalled Chrstimas Toys


Recalled Christmas Toys


  1. Broken Bag-O-Glass

  2. Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit

  3. Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook

  4. Timothy McVays home Chemistry set

  5. Switchblade Barney

  6. Pork-n-Beany Babies

  7. Make your own moonshine kit

  8. Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)






Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 15 June 2008
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (38)

The Sailor and the computer

A retired sailor purchased a computer and began to learn all about computing. Being a sailor, he was used to addressing his ships as "She" or "Her". But was unsure what was proper for computers.

To solve his dilemma, he set up two groups of computer experts: one group was male, and the other group was female.

The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as "HE" because:

1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they are the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a newer and better model.

The group of men reported that computers should be refered to as "SHE" because:

1. No one but the creator understands their logic. 2. The native language they use to talk to other computers is incomprehensible to anyone else. 3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 January 2016
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (24)

Every time i lose some weight

Every time i lose some weight i find it back again at the refrigerator.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 02 August 2015
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Vertical living

“Vertical living is flat dwelling.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 September 2013
  • Currently 3.74/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (23)

Counting Her Own Eggs

What do you call a hen who counts her own eggs?
A mathemachicken.

#joke #short #food #egg
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 17 July 2019
  • Currently 6.33/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (21)

Adopted Turtle

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
“Dear,” she chirped, “I think it's time to tell him he's adopted.”

#joke #animal #bird #turtle
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 February 2014
  • Currently 7.49/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (43)

Happy St Patrick's Day

"That guy was so happy that it's St Patrick's day, that he was literally bouncing off the walls!"
"Who was it?"
"Rick O'Shea."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 17 March 2023
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Why Germans...

Why Germans don't play Scrabble...
FUSSBODENSCHLEIFMASCHINENVERLEIH
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 29 September 2015
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

The Police Academy

Three guys, a Polish guy, a Jewish guy and an Italian guy

sign up for the police academy. The Jewish guy goes in first

and the Captain says to him, "We have to ask you one question

before we admit you in to the academy, Who killed Jesus?"

The Jewish guy says "The Romans did it."

The Captain says, "Right, you're admitted."

The Italian guy goes in next. The Captain asks him the same

thing. "We have to ask you one question first before you're

admitted to the Police Academy. Who killed Jesus?"

The Italian guy says "The Romans did it."

The Captain says, "Right, you're admitted."

The Polish guy goes in and the Captain repeats the question.

The Polish guy says "Gee, I don't know." The Captain tells

him to go home and think about it for a week and come back

and tell him.

The Polish guy goes home and his wife asked him how his

first day went at the academy, and he says to her, "You won't

believe it! My first day on the job and they assigned me to

a murder case!"

#joke #policeman
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 16 July 2011
  • Currently 5.05/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (37)

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