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Jokes of the day for Friday, 29 November 2024

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 29 November 2024

Giggle and Gobble

Why did the Turkey snicker alongside the stuffing?
It was an inside joke.

#joke #short #animal #turkey
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (9)

Lottery Winner

This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!"

She says, "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?"

He replies, "I don't care...Just get the hell out!"

#joke #short #food #honey
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 29 December 2015
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

A married couple went to the h...

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father of the baby. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 29 November 2009
  • Currently 6.22/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (76)

An enterprising, but bashful s...

An enterprising, but bashful sailor finds himself on shore leave in Korea for his first time. While the rest of the guys are out having a jolly good time in the red light district of Pusan, our hero just can't get up the nerve to ask the local girls how much it costs for a good time.

He sits at his table for a moment watching the girls, and devises a get laid plan.

One of the local girls approaches him and asks, "Wat is you name?"

He replies, "Rick Venus"

She says, "Lick Penus?"

He says, "Sure how much?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 29 November 2009
  • Currently 4.62/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (58)

One man said to the other...

One man said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 29 November 2010
  • Currently 8.04/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (45)

Pregnant Tree

How does a tree get pregnant?
By a woodpecker!

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 29 November 2014
  • Currently 8.30/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (40)

Chris Rock: Invading a Country with Oil

Let me get this straight. We invade a country with oil, but gas costs more? That dont make no f**king sense! Now I didnt go to no fancy school or nothing, but Ill tell you this right now -- if I invade Kentucky Fried Chicken, wings will be cheap at my house.
#joke #short #animal #chicken
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 29 November 2010
  • Currently 5.27/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (41)

International Plastic Bag Free Day Joke

July 3rd is International Plastic Bag Free Day! Find joke about it!

Why did the plastic bag go to therapy? It couldn't handle the pressure and felt all crumpled up inside.

#internationalplasticbagfreeday #plasticbagfreeday

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 03 July 2023
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

At the doctor's office...

At the doctor's office.
- What bothers you?
- I have a bad memory.
- Ok. What else?
- I have a very bad memory.
- What else?!
- And... I have a really bad memory.
- Yes, I understand that you have a bad memory! What else??
- And I have hearing problems.
- What else?
- What did you say?
- What else?!
- Say it again?
- What else?!
- Ah-ah! And I have a bad memory.
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 February 2017
  • Currently 5.79/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (14)

Drone stuck in a tree

Getting my toy drone stuck in a tree hasn’t been the worst thing that happened to me today.

But it’s definitely up there.

By Reddit User https://www.reddit.com/user/porichoygupto/

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 28 June 2019
  • Currently 7.71/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (14)

Boss told me to have a good day

My boss told me to have a good day, so i went home.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 30 July 2015
  • Currently 8.58/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (48)

Two blondes, Carol and Patt...

Two blondes, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.

Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." Patty said, "Let me look!" So Carol handed her the Compact.

Patty looked in the mirror and said,"You dummy, it's me!

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 13 December 2009
  • Currently 5.78/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (59)

Dane Cook: In the Year 3000

In the year 3000, everything will be instant... but the DMV will still take, like, nine f**king seconds.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 July 2011
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (48)

Jimmy Carr: Sexual Peak

Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years. Men reach theirs after about four minutes.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 01 November 2016
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Twin In Prison

So my twin brother called me from prison

He said, "So you know how we finish each others' sentences?"

Author:TheJenkinsComic reddit user

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 11 June 2019
  • Currently 7.59/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (17)

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