Jokes of the day for Saturday, 29 November 2025
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 29 November 2025 |
Walk on water
Joe heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays.
So, on his 21st birthday, Joe and his good friend Brian headed out to the lake. "If they did it, I can too!" he insisted.
When Joe and Brian arrived at the lake, they rented a boat and began paddling. When the got to the middle of the lake, Joe stepped off of the side of the boat... and damn near drowned.
Furious and somewhat shamed, he and Brian headed for home.
When Joe arrived back at the family farm, he asked his grandmother for an explanation. "Grandma, why can I not walk on water like my father, and his father, and his father before him?"
The feeble old grandmother took Joe by the hands, looked into his eyes, and explained, "That's because your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were born in January... you were born in July, dear."
A married couple went to the h...
A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father of the baby. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.
An enterprising, but bashful s...
An enterprising, but bashful sailor finds himself on shore leave in Korea for his first time. While the rest of the guys are out having a jolly good time in the red light district of Pusan, our hero just can't get up the nerve to ask the local girls how much it costs for a good time. He sits at his table for a moment watching the girls, and devises a get laid plan.
One of the local girls approaches him and asks, "Wat is you name?"
He replies, "Rick Venus"
She says, "Lick Penus?"
He says, "Sure how much?"
One man said to the other...
One man said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't. Chris Rock: Invading a Country with Oil
Let me get this straight. We invade a country with oil, but gas costs more? That dont make no f**king sense! Now I didnt go to no fancy school or nothing, but Ill tell you this right now -- if I invade Kentucky Fried Chicken, wings will be cheap at my house.
Once upon a time there was a s...
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a desert road. Suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him. The driver a young, a man dressed in a Brioni suit, Ceruti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie, gets out and asks the shepherd, "If I guess how many sheep you have, would you give me one of them?"The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the sheep, "All right."
The young man parks the car, connects his notebook to his cell phone, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer.
"You have exactly 1,586 sheep," he declares.
"That's correct," says the shepherd. "You may take the sheep."
The young man takes the sheep and puts it in the back of his car.
The shepherd asks, "If I guess your profession, will you return my sheep?"
"Why not?" answers the young man.
"You're a Consultant," declares the shepherd confidently.
"That's amazing! How did you guess so quickly and easily?" asks the man.
"Very simple," replies the shepherd. "First you came here without being called. Secondly, you charge me to tell me something I already knew. And thirdly, you do not understand anything about what I do. And lastly you took my sheepdog..."
Matt Braunger: Medical Marijuana Dispensaries
Its incredibly easy to get. People go to those dispensaries, and they have a laundry list of ailments to give to those doctors that will just sign off on anything. You can pretty much go in there and go, Um, I intermittently blink all day. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I have to pee. And scary movies scare me. You need pot, here, take it. A Harley Biker is riding by th...
A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he seesa little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies "I'm a U.S. Marine, and a Republican".
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALSHIS LUNCH
And THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.
When you
When you become really close to someone, you can hear their voice in your head when you read their texts. There is no Ctrl button on Chu...
There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. The annoying crow
The annoying crow who wouldn't shut up lost its job. Why?Well, there was just caws.
Bottle Of Wine
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'
