Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 17 December 2025
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 17 December 2025 |
Cannibal jokes
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'That reminds me of the cannibal that passed his friend in the woods.....
When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone's eaten.......
What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show? A celebrity roast.....
Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture? Eatin' Allen's......
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts......
What do cannibals make out of politicians? Baloney sandwiches......
Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a leg......
Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food? He ordered apizza with everybody on it.......
Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.......
One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like...........
Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, 'Gee, I hate my mother-in-law.' The 2nd replies, 'So, try the potatoes.'
There was a competition to cro...
There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
Guns don't kill people. Chuck ...
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.Matt's dad picked him up from...
Matt's dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years.""That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."
Burning Calories
Me: "I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes."
Friend: "How?"
Me: "I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven."
Santa accessed someones facebook account
Somebody forgot to set his privacy settings.... Think this is how he got the red nose? An inebriated man and his drun...
An inebriated man and his drunken friend were sitting at a bar."Do you know what time it is?" asked the drunk.
"Sure" said the man.
"Thanks" said the drunk.
Halloween 2018 short jokes
What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suck.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-boo!
What kind of instrument do you play on Halloween?
A Spook-ulele.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room?
A Spoo-key
Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
They have no body to love.
How do vampires get around on Halloween?
In blood vessels
What did the teenage witch ask her mother on Halloween?
Can i have the keys to the broom tonight.
A Problem Shared
They say that "a problem shared is a problem halved..."
I'm not too sure about that as last night I told my wife that my girlfriend was pregnant.
Steamroller accidents
Steamroller accidents can be quite ugly. Luckily I have always been the grader man. Bills To Pay
A man asked me for a dollar.
I told him I only carry big bills.
He said give him one of those.
So I gave him my electric bill.
Ted Alexandro: Future Wife
Im single. I often think about my future wife and how lax shes been about getting in touch with me. Once upon a time the governmen...
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.
Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer,then hired two people.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then Congress said, "We have had this operating for one year and we are $18,000 over budget. We must cutback overall cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.
Chris Rock: Natural Causes
When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, its natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes. Cause if you was younger, youd got out of the way. 
