Popular jokes (15751 to 15765)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
A couple in their early sevent
A couple in their early seventies were discussing their future plans. The husband asked, "What will you do if I die before you?"The wife thought for a moment before replying, "I will probably look to share a house with three other single or widowed women, maybe people a little younger than me since I am still active for my age. What about you? What will you do if I die first?"
He answered, "Probably the same."
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEAR
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT ... BEEN OUT AWHILE .. BETTERBE A REWARD.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED ... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.
HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE &DONUTS.
FOR SALE: ONE MAN SIX WOMAN HOT TUB
(AND THE BEST ONE) . .
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica - no longerneeded. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
How does a flower ride a bike?...
How does a flower ride a bike?Humor About Senior Citizens
OLD KIDS never die, they just grow up
OLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils
OLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherent
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appeal
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefs
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, their computers have Fatal Errors
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just check out
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just get re-shelved
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references
OLD LIGHT BULBS never die, they just blink out
OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under
OLD LINGUISTS never die, they just rearrange their deep structures
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappear
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just float away
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just make a big production of it
Two husbands were discussing t...
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. The Chad said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.”“Wow!’ said Sherman, “how did you manage that?”
“It’s easy,” replied Chad. “My last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’”
My friend told me he had the b
My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.Ever since I switche...
“Ever since I switched to wrinkle free shirts my laundry issues have been less pressing.”
What Do You Get…
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
Halfway.
The Popemobile
The p... The Popemobile
The pope was coming over to visit Canada and when he was greeted at the airport there was a limo waiting for him. As he was getting in he asked the limo driver if he could drive instead, because being a pope - he never got to do neat things like that.
The driver said sure, after all - you can't say no to the pope.
The pope of course decided to have some fun and drove the limo at about 200 km/h in a 80 km/h zone and a cop spots him and pulls him over.
The cop of course was very surprised when he looked inside the limo, and immediately radioed his supervisor.
Cop: What should I do? I can't ticket this guy!
Supervisor: Why who is it? The Mayor?
Cop: No, much more important!
Supervisor: Not the mayor? Is it the Premiere?
Cop: No, much more important!
Supervisor: Not the mayor? Is it the Premiere?
Cop: No, much more important!
Supervisor: Not the Premiere? The Prime Minister?
Cop: No, much much more important!
Supervisor: Not the Prime Minister? Who the hell can be more important than the Prime Minister?
Cop: I don't know, but he has the Pope as his chauffeur!
“Wounds heal better i
“Wounds heal better if they are covered. This is an example of gauze and effect.”
A man in a hurry, taking his 8
A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited."Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"Aw, Dad, it's probably okay," the son said. "The police car right behind us just did the same thing."
