Popular jokes (19771 to 19785)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
The Right Place
I'm always in the right place!
Unfortunately it's always at the wrong time.
#joke #short
Scary Collection 44
A vampire joke
What happened at the vampires race?
It finished neck and neck!
A vampire joke
What's a vampire's favourite drink?
A bloody mary!
A ghost joke
Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost?
It had a nervous breakdown!
A vampire joke
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
"Auld Fang Syne"!
A ghost joke
How do ghosts learn songs?
They read the sheet music!
A vampire joke
Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
He had fang decay!
A witch joke
What's the best way of seeing a witch?
On the television!
#joke #newyear
Ponderings Collection 26
I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good!
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
#joke
A new business was opening, an...
A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said. “Rest in Peace”The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rater than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on you new location.”
#joke
Mrs. Cohn went to see her doct
Mrs. Cohn went to see her doctor. When he inquired about her complaint she replied that she suffered from a discharge.Said he: "Get undressed, Mrs. Cohn, and lie down on the examining table."
She did, whereupon the doctor put on rubber gloves and began to massage her "private parts."
After a couple of minutes he asked: "How does that feel?"
"Wonderful," she replied, "But the discharge is from my ear."
#joke #doctor
Wonderful idea
Jen's friend Amy is complaining about having a sore throat.
"When I have a sore throat, I always give my husband a blow job and, as long as I swallow, it feels better the next day. You should try it," says Jen.
The next day, they meet up and Amy is all smiles.
"How did it go, then?" asks Jen.
"Wonderfully!" beams Amy. "Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea."
#joke #fruit #strawberry
Another new Illness to watch o
Another new Illness to watch out for ...A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying homebecause she is not feeling well.
"So, what's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.
"And what the hell is anal glaucoma?"
"I just can't see my ass coming into work today."
#joke
Hilarious jokes-Two psychiatrists
Two psychiatrists had taken the evening off to have some fun and are enjoying a ride on a bike.
They have an accident and one of them, who had taken a bad fall, in grievously injured, with cuts, bruises and a lot of bleeding.
The other sits by his side and asks,
"Do you want to talk about it ?"
They have an accident and one of them, who had taken a bad fall, in grievously injured, with cuts, bruises and a lot of bleeding.
The other sits by his side and asks,
"Do you want to talk about it ?"
#joke #short
Police Are In A Chase
Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"
The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."
#joke #policeman
Need Samples
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
#joke #doctor
A blonde's car gets a flat tyr...
A blonde's car gets a flat tyre on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.
The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer...
"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replies
#joke #blonde #policeman
