Popular jokes (20971 to 20985)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Your husband gets it double!
A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her. The woman and her husband got a divorce and the woman went on with her life hating her ex-husband. O ne day she found a beautiful lamp lying on the sidewalk. She picked it up and rubbed it a little bit. Suddenly, a genie popped out of the lamp! The genie said that it would grant her 3 wishes and that with every wish her husband it get the same thing only double!
So, the woman thinks of a first wish...
"I want to be rich!!!"
So, the woman became rich, and the husband became twice as rich!
The woman then thought of a second wish...
"I want to be beautiful!!"
So, the woman became beautiful, and the husband became twice as beautiful.
"Okay", the genie says. "This is your last wish so be careful what you wish for!"
The woman thought real hard and finally came to a decision....
"I Want You To Scare me HALF To Death!!"
Visiting the modern art museum...
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby."This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?"
"No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
Watch What You Order
Two men walk into a bar. The first guy says he wants some H2O.
The second guy says he wants some H2O too.
The second guy died.
The Pope’s Surprise
Many years ago, a beloved Pope died and went to heaven. Saint Peter greeted him in a firm embrace. "Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man during your life has earned you great stature in heaven. You may pass through the gates without delay and are granted free access to all parts of heaven."St. Peter continued: "You are also granted an open-door policy and may, at your own discretion, meet with any heavenly leader including the Father, without prior appointment. Is there anything which your holiness desires?""Well, yes," the Pope replied. "I have often pondered some of the mysteries which have puzzled and confounded theologians through the ages. Are there perhaps any transcripts which recorded the actual conversations between God and the prophets of old? I would love to see what was actually said, without the dimming of memories over time."St. Peter immediately ushered the Pope to the heavenly library and explained how to retrieve the various documents. The Pope was thrilled and settled down to review the history of humanity's relationship with God.Two years later, a scream of anguish pierced the quiet of the library. Immediately several of the saints and angels came running. They found the Pope pointing to a single word on a parchment, repeating over and over: "There's an 'R'. There's an 'R.' There's an 'R'... It's CELIBRATE, not celibate!"His pediatrician asked six-yea...
His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny (who watches too much TV)... "Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?A box of Tampax, he replied without hesitation.
Tampax? said the doctor. What would you do with that?
Well, said Johnny, I do not know exactly, but its sure worth two dollars.
WithTtampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to.
Having arrived at the edge of ...
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.An hour or so later, the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...
Hear about the Scottish dwarf
Hear about the Scottish dwarf who owned a microbrewery, and was also a vampire?Another
It is becoming a very scary world out there . . . . .Another Famous American converts to Islam ...
It was announced today that Buckwheat,
Of Our Gang fame, Has converted To
The Muslim faith and changed his name to:
Kareem of Wheat.
I just hope he doesn't become a cereal killer!
