Popular jokes (21721 to 21735)

At a party, a guy approached a...

At a party, a guy approached a girl and whispered something in her ear.

"You filthy pervert!!" she shrieked. "What makes you think I'd let you do a thing like that to me?"

Then her eyes narrowed and she said, "Unless you're the son-of-a-bitch that stole my diary!"

An American attorney had just

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"
Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."

The Teacher had asked the clas...

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.

Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in the well last week."

"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"

"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."

I've never understood why wom

I've never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don't listen,they don't come in when you call, they liketo stay out all night, come home and expectto be fed and stroked, then want to be leftalone and sleep.
In other words, every qualitythat women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Short funny jokes-First people in North America

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.

Auctions and golf...

A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.

The other night, as they slept, the golfer yelled, "Fore!"

His wife yelled back, "Four and a quarter !"

After being interviewed by the

After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, "Let me see if I've got this right: You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.
You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams.
You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps. You want me to do all this, and then you tell me I CAN'T PRAY?"

Try To Grow Chickens

A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks.
"That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the city slicker replied.
A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him.
"Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few problems." "Problems?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last batch too close together."

Sexual harassment is a big pro...

Sexual harassment is a big problem at tap-ass bars.

Yo mama is so flat

Yo mama so flat she's jealous of the wall!

Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a book!

Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper!

Very funny jokes-Habits

Before they hatch, go to the b

Before they hatch, go to the bank and open a chicken egg count.

A man went to visit a friend o

A man went to visit a friend of his who worked for the zoo, tending to the elephants.
But found him crying.
When asked what happened the friend replied that the largest bull elephant had died earlier that morning.
"I'm sorry I didn't know you were so close to the elephant"
"I'm not - I have to bury it."

 Menu Item Translations

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.
Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
French fried ships - Cairo
Garlic Coffee - Europe
Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
Boiled Frogfish - Europe
Sweat from the trolley - Europe
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
Roasted duck let loose - Poland
Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
Fried friendship - Nepal
Strawberry crap - Japan
Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
Toes with butter and jam - Bali
French Creeps - L.A.
Fried fishermen - Japan
Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania
Product Names
Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues
Kolic - Japanese mineral water
Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer
Swine - Chinese chocolates
Libido - Chinese soda
Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink
Shocking - Japanese chewing gum
Cat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towels
Pipi - Yugoslavian orangeade
Polio - Czechoslovakian laundry detergent
Crundy - Japanese gourmet candy
Superglans - Netherlands car wax
I'm Dripper - Japanese instant coffee
Zit - Greek soft drink
Colon Plus - Spanish detergent

 Knock Knock Collection 027

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Bolton!
Bolton who?
Bolton the door!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Bolzano!
Bolzano who?
Bolzano the door!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry it's only a joke!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Borg!
Borg who?
Borg out of my mind!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Brad!
Brad who?
Brad news I'm afraid!