Popular jokes (22066 to 22080)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Half-fare rate for...wives?
Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.
Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
School Collection 07
A history joke
What was King Arthur's favourite game?
Knights and crosses!
A history joke
Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?
At the bottom!
A history joke
Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!
A history joke
Wish I had been born 1000 years ago!
Why is that?
Just think of all the history that I wouldn't have to learn!
A history joke
Did the Native Americans hunt bear!
Not in the winter!
A mighty crack was heard aroun...
A mighty crack was heard around the world as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the supercontinent, Pangaea, beginning continental drift.I love me some drunken Germans
I love me some drunken Germans. Buzzed Franzs forever!Vaseline research
A woman answers the door to a market researcher."Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?"
"Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns."
"Do you use it for anything else?"
"Like what?"
"Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex."
"Oh, of course. Yes, we smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep the kids out."
They Look Happily Married
“Now that looks like a happily married couple,” remarked the husband.
“Don’t be too sure, dear,' began the wife. 'They're probably saying the same thing about us.”
There are more important thing...
There are more important things than money, but they won’t date you if you don’t have anyMay Joe R.I.P.
Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.
"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."
"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"
"Two and a half carats."
A man enters his local bar hol...
A man enters his local bar holding a frog and an iguana. He sets them down on the bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1000 that my frog here can sing any song you can think of." "Ok," says the bartender. "How 'bout 'Blue Moon'?" The man whispers something to the frog, and the frog starts singing blue moon. "That's amazing," says the bartender as he slaps down $1000. "I'll bet ya another $1000 that my iguana here can do that to." "Ok, I can believe a frog, but not an iguana. You're on. Have him sing the Star Spangled Banner." The man whispers something to the iguana and it sings the Star Spangled Banner. As the bartender hands over another $1000, a businessman comes up and says, "I just saw that and I was amazed. I want to buy your iguana for $100,000." The man said ok, and he exchanged the iguana for the money and the businessman left. The bartender said "What are you nuts?! You could have made millions with that iguana!" The man said "Oh, the iguana can't sing. The frog's a ventriloquist."Guard dog
My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection since she drove all over the country. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn't like men.”
“Perfect,” my sister-in-law thought and took the dog.
Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.
Why Easter Is Special
A group of four-year-olds were being questioned by their teacher in a Sunday School class. Looking across at those bright little faces, the teacher asked this question: "Does anyone know what today is?"A little girl held up her hand and said, "Yes, today is Palm Sunday."
"That's fantastic!" the teacher said. "Now does anyone know what next Sunday is?" The sam little girl lifted her hand. "Yes," she said, "next Sunday is Easter Sunday."
The teacher was all smiles. "Oh, very good. Now...does anyone know what makes next Sunday Easter?"
On a roll the same little girl responded, "Yes, next Sunday is Easter because Jesus rose from the grave." Before the impressed teacher could congratulate her, however, the girl added, "but if He sees His shadow, He has to go back in for seven weeks."
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member mandachelle23
A woman was very distraught at...
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist. So she went to see him.Upon entering the examination room, Dr Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room."
Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did. Dr Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not haf sex or dates."
Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied,"Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
