Popular jokes (23956 to 23970)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Jewish and Chinese Beginnings
"The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a people," the Hebrew teacher informed his class. "Consider that the Chinese have observed only their 4695th. What does this mean to you?"
After a reflective pause, one student volunteered, "Well, for one thing, the Jewish people had to do without Chinese food for 1063 years."
#joke #food
Every morning, one of the secr
Every morning, one of the secretaries in an office opened the newspaper and read everyone's horoscope aloud."Gwen," said the boss finally, "you seem to be a normal, level headed person. Do you really believe in astrology?"
"Of course not. You know how skeptical we Capricorns are."
#joke #short
Graphic designers are obsessed
Graphic designers are obsessed with kern events. Especially web designers – they love checking out Britney's css. HTML baby one more time!#joke #short
The Dog And Neutron
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Answering Machine Message 125
Sorry... I'm far too depressed to come to the phone. If you can be bothered, leave a message after the sound of the gunshot, and maybe somebody will call you I guess... (BANG!)
#joke #short
Baldness
Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?#joke #short
Good jokes-Just one instance
Jim was getting drunk at a pub with his old chum, Bob. Having had a rum too many, Jim started complaining about his mother-in-law, how he found her disgusting, bossy, pompous, intrusive, and unbearable.
Suddenly, Jim leaned over and confessed that he had to give the old gal credit for one thing. There was one instance in his life when he would have cut his throat if it weren't for her.
Bob, surprised by the sudden change of heart, asked "Really? What happened?"
Jim said, "She was using my razor."
Suddenly, Jim leaned over and confessed that he had to give the old gal credit for one thing. There was one instance in his life when he would have cut his throat if it weren't for her.
Bob, surprised by the sudden change of heart, asked "Really? What happened?"
Jim said, "She was using my razor."
Americans are taking on too mu...
Americans are taking on too much debt, and it's putting kinks in the economy. They love state-owe-masochism, getting fiscaled, bondage, and other stimulus measures. This is why they are being punished on the S&M 500.#joke #short
Atoms And A Buddhist
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!
#joke
To the Moon
After the tiring wedding ceremony, the tired groom gets romantic and says to the bride, "Darling, should I take you on a ride to the Moon or do you prefer the stars?"
The bridely replies, "Sweetheart, why don't you show me your rocket first. I will decide only after I see it."
The bridely replies, "Sweetheart, why don't you show me your rocket first. I will decide only after I see it."
A couple of jokes about marriage...
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Husband wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
