Popular jokes (24076 to 24090)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
The Generous Barber
After receiving a beautiful haircut, a doctor asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?”
“Oh, I never charge a doctor,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.”
The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a bottle of wine on his doorstep from the doctor.
Later that day, a police officer walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the police office asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?”
“Oh, I never charge a police officer,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.”
The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a box of candy on his doorstep from the police officer.
Later that day, a priest walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the priest asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?”
“Oh, I never charge a priest,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.”
The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds twelve priests on his doorstep.
This joke was reprinted from "The Book of Catholic Jokes" by Deacon Tom Sheridan, with permission of ACTA Publications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
Top 10 things WOMEN would do i...
Top 10 things WOMEN would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day:10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal about sports, cars and money.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9.
Short funny jokes-Horrible witch
Bobby to Johnny: My dad saw a scary ghost and didn't turn a hair!Johnny: Doesn't surprise me - your dad's bald!
Americans Vs Russians
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.A small boy was lost at ...
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said: "I've lost my dad!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied: "Beer and women with big tits."
To impress his date, the young...
To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said. "Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That"s the owner."A man knows that shopping with...
A man knows that shopping with his girlfriend and her friends can be slow as mall lasses.Did You Hear
There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married...
A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
In the middle of a forest, the...
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.
Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
Phone Line
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, Can I help you? Yeah, Ive come to activate your phone lines.Chemistry Song 11
Chemistry Wonderland
Gases explode, are you listenin'
In your rest tube, silver glistens
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
Gone away, is the buoyancy
Here to stay, is the density
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
In the beaker we will make lead carbonate
and decide if what's left is nitrate
My partner asks "Do we measure it in moles or grams?"
and I'll say, "Does it matter in the end?"
Later on, as we calculate
the amount, of our nitrate
We'll face unafraid, the precipitates that we made
walking in a chemistry wonderland.
