Popular jokes (24601 to 24615)

There was a farmer who had a b...

There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told his son to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished.

"Yeah daddy, yeah daddy," said the little boy.

After a while the boy came into the living where his father was talking with some friends. "Say, Pop," said the boy. "Yes," replied his father.

"The bull just f….ed the brown cow."

There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse me" and took his son outside. "Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the white cow."

The father went back inside the house. After a while the boy came in and said, "Hey, Daddy."

"Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"

"He sure did, Pop! He f...ed the brown cow again!"

A big-rig operator stopped to ...

A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts.

"Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck.

"It's Snow ... Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?"

"Me, I'm June ... June Hansen," she said.

After a short while she asked, "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?"

"Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"

A gift for his lady

A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girlfriend's birthday.

As they had only started dating, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note, personal, but not too personal.

Accompanied by the girlfriend's younger sister, he went to Dillards and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.

During the wrapping, however, the clerk got the items mixed up and the sister got the gloves and the girlfriend got the panties.

The guy sent the package to the girlfriend with the following note:

I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the sales clerk that helped me has a pair that she has been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night.

All my love.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

Submitted by Glaci

Edited by Curtis

What's a lawyer's

What's a lawyer's favorite playground apparatus? The suings.

 Answering Machine Message 32

Hi, you've reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional.

Which famous Russian would not

Which famous Russian would not have approved of Vladimir? Rasputin.

Blondes and Grenades

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a Grenade at you?

A: You pull the pin out and throw it back at her.

“I tried to sell the

“I tried to sell the antique string instrument cause I needed the lute.”

Chuck Norris has to register e...

Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

Santa Claus - now that's...

Santa Claus - now that's a fellow with charisma. Say what you like, the man has presents!

Say It With Flowers.....

A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read "Say It With Flowers."

"Wrap up one rose," he told the florist.

"Only one?" the florist asked.

"Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a man of few words."

A Republican and a Democrat we...

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.

Now you understand the difference between Republicans and Democrats

A woman rushes into a hardware...

A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, “Can I have a muse trap, please? And will you be quick – I’ve a bus to catch.”
“Sorry, ma’am,” said the assistant, “we don’t sell ‘em that big!”

Shania does her thing and...

Shania's estranged husband does another and never the Twains shall meet.

A group of bats, hanging at th

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"