Popular jokes (24886 to 24900)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Q: What did the boy ghost say ...
Q: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost after he saw her all dressed up for Halloween?A: You look boo-tiful!
#joke #short #halloween
Nuns at the Hospital
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had bypass surgery. He awakened to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.As he was recovering, a nun asked how he was going to pay the bill. He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "Just a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun, slightly perturbed, said, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Then send the bill to my brother-in-law."
#joke #doctor
The after-dinner speaker just
The after-dinner speaker just didn't have a stop button. He burbled on and on and on, oblivious to his increasingly restless audience. Finally one of the more drunken diners hurled an empty wine bottle at him. It missed, and hit the Chairman instead.As the Chairman slid slowly to the floor clutching his head, he was heard to murmur, "Hit me again, I can still hear him."
Mathematicians refuse to wear
Mathematicians refuse to wear g-strings. They don't have orthongonal values.#joke #short
This guy goes into a doctor's ...
This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?" The guy shrugs and says, "Well I guess I'll have the bad news first." "Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies. The man is distraught, "24 hours to live? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?" The doctor folds his hands and sighs, "The very bad news is...I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."#joke #doctor
Yo momma so short she poses fo...
Yo momma so short she poses for trophies.#joke #short
Nomads are th...
Nomads are the calmest people.#joke #short
"Do you believe in life after ...
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees."Yes, sir," the clerk replied.
"That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."
#joke #short
New Chemical Warfare
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
#joke #short
Teacher: What’s the outside
Teacher: What’s the outside layerof a tree called, Tommy?
Tommy: Don’t Know.
Teacher: Bark, Tommy.
Tommy: Woof, Woof.
#joke #short
What are you expecting?
7 year old Jason was at the metro with his friends.
He saw a pregnant lady standing next to him and asked her, "What are you expecting?"
The pregnant lady replied casually, "a train"
Jason commented to his friends, "Can you beat this! this babe got laid by a Transformer!"
He saw a pregnant lady standing next to him and asked her, "What are you expecting?"
The pregnant lady replied casually, "a train"
Jason commented to his friends, "Can you beat this! this babe got laid by a Transformer!"
#joke #short
A good wife
Martin and Tina were married for some time. Lately Martin was in two minds whether Tina was a good wife to him. One day Martin took his donkey to a field near his house to get some work done. After a while he saw Tina come towards them with food for him, fodder for the animal and water for both of them. That instant he decided that Tina was a good woman after all.
But when Tina was feeding the donkey, the animal kicked her in the head killing her instantly. Martin was sorry. At the funeral his friend Dean saw some women looking at Tina and then at Martin. Martin moved his head up and down. Dean next observed some men look at the donkey and then at Marin who shook his head side by side.
Later Dean asked Martin what it was all about. Martin said: “Women looked at me to confirm Tina was a good wife, I said ‘yes'. Next men looked at me, which meant if the donkey was for sale, I said ‘No.'”
A man at the airline counter t...
A man at the airline counter tells the rep. “I’d like this bag to go to Berlin, this one to California, and this one to London.The rep says, “I’m sorry sir. We can’t do that.”
The man replied: Nonsense. That is what you did last time I flew with you.
#joke #short
AOL Addiction Poem
My computer broke down.
It crashed and burned!
And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...
And keep it off my mind.
It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.
The cashier in electronics was staring at me.
But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.
I drew a crowd as I began to cry.
I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!
Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.
The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!"
Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.
Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!
Then he looked at me and said, "Don't come round here no more!"
I feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How low can I go?
So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction.
Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!
#joke
