Popular jokes (25666 to 25680)

Faith Elements

Q: Photons have mass?
A: I didn’t even know they were Catholic!

Tell Me Everything

Tell me everything you know...I have a few seconds to waste.

Funny jokes-Laws of Education

Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab.
and, most importantly,
Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department.

“My New Year's resol

“My New Year's resolution is Full HD.”

Boomerang

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A: A stick...

One of the Worst Jokes Ever Written

Q: Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

A: Because if it had four it would be a sedan!

Theater Kiss

After John had purchased movie tickets for himself and his girlfriend, she went inside to find seats while he got some popcorn. By the time he was served, the previews were being shown and the theater was dark. John
stumbled his way through the dark, sat down and gave his girlfriend a kiss.

Then he heard a familiar voice say, “John, I'm back here.”

Which reptiles have a sixth se

Which reptiles have a sixth sense? Alligaydars

What's the difference between ...

What's the difference between a woman and a volcano? A volcano never fakes its eruptions.

There is no right to privacy i...

There is no right to privacy in some totalitarian states. For example,  they even scrutinize a woman's menstrual cycle in Red ‘Gina.

Light bulb jokes-Veterinarians

Seen in ...

Seen in real CVs:

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

"While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility."

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"Interests: Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."

Spider Jokes 02

What is a spiders favorite TV show?
The newly web game!

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?
Your spinning me a yarn here!

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?
I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it!

Why are spiders like tops?
They are always spinning!

What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre?
A spinning wheel!

What has 8 legs and likes living in trees?
Four anti road protesters?

What did the spider say when he broke his new web?
Darn it!

What do you call a big irish spider?
Paddy long legs!

What is red and dangerous?
Strawberry and tarantula jelly!

A young executive was leaving ...

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy..."

There was a sandwich machine i...

There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. Olaf didn't quite understand what the machine was about though. He went to the machine and put his money in the machine and got one sandwich. He was so excited, he put more of his money into the machine and received another sandwich. Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches.
Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing:
- "Olaf, don't you think you should stop now?"
- "What the hell are you babbling about?! I am just starting to win big!"