Popular jokes (32971 to 32985)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Microsoft Sentence
Microsoft has announced a new product called MicrosoftSentence. Install it on your computer, and will come to a
full-stop. Period.
Blonde on a Diet
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on adiet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a
day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I
see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing
nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my
instructions?"
The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was
going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping.
Hilarious book titles
1) Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself (A book for woodworkers)
2) Knitting with Dog Hair
3) Wood Carving with a Chain Saw
4) Drying Flowers With A Microwave
5) Nuclear War: What's In It For You?
6) How Green were the Nazis?
7) Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them
8) How to Avoid Huge Ships
9) Bomb Proof Your House
10)Waterproofing Your Child
“I was caught studyin...
“I was caught studying the periodic table in English class. It was an elementary mistake.”
Reaching the end of a job inte...
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
Do Eskimos believe in
Do Eskimos believe in recicicling?It̵
It's great dating a florist, because she always know when and where to plant her tulips.A beggar walks up to a well dr...
A beggar walks up to a well dressed woman on the street. He says, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looks at him and says, "I wish I had your willpower."Only one kiss per yard...
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk.
"That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
Top Ten Ways Y2K Will Affect Disney World
10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.
8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.
7. The "It's a Small World After All" creatures go on a rampage.
6. The Hall of Presidents keeps chanting "Kill Clinton, kill Clinton."
5. When you wish upon a star, nothing happens.
4. Unexpected power surge brings an angry Walt Disney back to life.
3. "Main Street Electrical Parade" becomes "Main Street Two Guys With Plastic Flashlights Parade."
2. Ticket machine accidentally dispenses day passes for less than $600.
1. Two words: catapulting teacups.
Diet Plan
Rina : Is that becuase the body adapts to the diet plan by then?
Tina: No, it's because I would have given up by the next day.
“My son decided to go into bus...
“My son decided to go into business on a shoestring,” said Sal.“He has tripled his investment, but he’s still not satisfied, can you believe it?”
“Why not?” asked his body Lance.
“He can’t think of anything to do with three shoestrings.”
