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Popular jokes (4186 to 4200)

Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system.

Gather at the river

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great statement he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river!"

Sermon complete, he then sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather at the River.'"

#joke #drinks #wine #whiskey #beer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.42/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (12)

A man entered the bus with bot...

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full ofgolf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and hisbulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It'sgolf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at himthoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity anylonger, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
#joke #blonde #sport #tennis
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.65/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (17)

THANK GOD...

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!!!
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

I know a guy who survived an 8000-foot fall out of a plane

I know a guy who survived an 8000-foot fall out of a plane.

Until he hit the ground.

****************************

The 1st time I went skydiving I asked the instructor how long it would take to hit the ground if my parachute didn't open.

He got a sly smile and said, "The rest of your life son."

****************************

You know, not all Italians are in the mafia.

Some are in the Witness Protection Program.

****************************

Wife: I can't believe they're still together after all that shit.

Me: Who?

Wife: My butt cheeks.

****************************

HAPPY July the 1st, international JOKES day!

#joke
Joke | Source: Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Need A New Home

I need to re-home a dog.
It's a small terrier and tends to bark a lot.
If you're interested, let me know and I'll climb over my neighbor's fence and get it for you.

Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.26/10

Rating: 9.3/10 (19)

Friendship between wom...

Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

Rory Albanese: Kids With ADD

Follow this sentence: children who cant pay attention are considered to have a disorder. Children who cant pay attention? I dont know, he just wont focus. He could be seven. That could be the issue.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.81/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (47)

Boiled Egg

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I dont think I can get hard, I just got laid this morning!
#joke #short #food #egg
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.14/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (43)

A local lawyer was sitting in...

A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when in walked a beautiful young lady. Without any preliminaries she said she wanted a divorce.
"On what grounds?" asked the lawyer.
"I don't think he is faithful to me," she replied.
"And what makes you think he isn't faithful?" asked the lawyer.
"Well," replied the young lady, "I don't think he is the father of my child."
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Lost Far From A Home

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.
The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. " Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? " Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 8.72/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (25)

Absentee Slips

In the HR department in the large corporation where I work, I receive absentee slips for all the employees.
Over the years I’ve heard every excuse, but the other day I found one in my voicemail that I never heard before.
“I won’t be in today,” said my absent coworker. “I’ll call back later with an excuse.”

#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 7.71/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (14)

Jupiter's Great Red Spot isn't...

Jupiter's Great Red Spot isn't a storm. It's where Chuck Norris puts his victims.
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.45/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (60)

A Taxi Driver and a Priest Die

He waits for a long time and finally goes to St. Peter and asks: "Why could that taxi driver go to the highest level of heaven and I, who all my life spoke about God, have to wait for such a long time?"St. Peter replies: "When you were speaking to the people at your church, everybody was sleeping. But when that taxi driver was driving, everybody prayed!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 9.29/10

Rating: 9.3/10 (7)

A guy sees an advertisement in...

A guy sees an advertisement in a pet-shop window: "Talking Centipede $100."
The guy goes in and buys it. He gets home, opens the box and asks the centipede if he wants to go for a beer.
The centipede doesn't answer, so the guy closes the lid, convinced he's been swindled. Thirty minutes later he decides to try again.
He raises his voice and shouts, "Do you want to go for a beer?"
The centipede pokes his head out of the box and says, "Pipe down! I heard you the first time. I'm putting on my shoes!"
#joke #animal #pet #drinks #beer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.86/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (36)

Female hormones in beer

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.38/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (61)

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