Popular jokes (6586 to 6600)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
My prayers are answered...
A grandmother who took her little grandson to the beach. They were having a good time until a huge wave came in and swept the boy out to sea. She fell down on her knees and pleaded to the heavens, "Please return my grandson, that's all I ask! PLEASE!!!"
A moment later, lo and behold, a wave swelled from the ocean and deposited the wet, yet unhurt child, at her feet. She checked him over to make sure that he was okay. He was fine. But still she looked up to the heavens angrily and said, "When we came he had a hat!"
A bank robber pulls out gun po...
A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says, "Don't change the subject!" How do Mexicans take a family
How do Mexicans take a family portrait? They all gather together on the back of a pickup truck and run a red light!Two friends were standing in a...
Two friends were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered. Not only did the thieves clean out the tills, but they walked around with bags and ordered everyone to throw their valuables in. Just as the robbers got to the pair, one of the friends turned to the other and, passing him a bill, said, "By the way, Joe, here's that twenty bucks I owe you."
There was this fisherman that
There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing.His friend, the game warden, couldn't figure out how he didit, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing withhis friend. The fisherman took his friend the warden outto his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took astick of dynamite out of his backpack, lit it, and threwit into the water. The dynamite exploded and a dozen fishfloated to the top.The game warden said, "That's illegal, you can't do that."
The fisherman goes, "Really?" He then lights another stick of dynamite and throws it into the water.The dynamite exploded, and a dozen more fish floated to thetop.
The game warden said, "Stop that now, and take thisboat back to shore...I'm going to have to give you a citationand confiscate all your gear."
The fisherman said,"Oh, really?"
He then lights another stick of dynamite, throws it intothe game warden's lap, and said "You gonna sit there andkeep flapping your trap, or are you gonna fish?"
If Chuck Norris gave a mouse a...
If Chuck Norris gave a mouse a cookie, it would probably ask for some milk. Then Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick that ungrateful little rodent so hard, it would lose it's appetite for cookies. Permanently.Drunk on a bus
A drunk gets on a transit bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop. He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus. Still the man is fumbling in his pockets for change. The bus jerks forward once again, and the drunk stumbles uncontrollably to the back of the bus. Next stop, the same thing happens. Every time the bus stops, the man would stagger to the front. Every time the bus starts, he staggers uncontrollably to the back. A few stops later the drunk exits the the bus from the front.
"Hey", shouts the bus driver... "You didn't pay your fare yet!"
The drunk, reeling, shouts back "And I'm not going to!..... I walked all the way!"
What Do You Get When ...
What do you get when you cross a Buddhist and a Druid? Someone who worships the tree that is not there. The wise old Mother Superior f...
The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
When she walked back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."
She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow."
Cats
I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Joke of the Day, posted everyday on getfrank.co.nz - Click to see the past weeks worth right here...
10 Things You Never Hear in Church
1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew!2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.6. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!Knock Knock Collection 143
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Othello!
Othello who?
Othello you thalked to me!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Otis!
Otis who?
Otis a sin to tell a lie!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ottawa!
Ottawa who?
Ottawa know you're telling the truth?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oewn!
Owen who?
Owen you open this door, I'm going to give you such a roasting!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Owl!
Owl who?
Owl Aboard!
Nuns on the highway...
A cop pulls over a car load of nuns....
Cop: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow?"
Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65."
Cop: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Sister: "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.
Cop: "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible."
Sister: "Oh, we just got off of highway 119."
I mixed up the cardi...
“I mixed up the cardiac resuscitation equipment with the lie detector, but I will de-fib you later.”
