Join us on
WhatsApp
Join us on
Telegram
Join us on
Viber

Popular jokes (11326 to 11340)

Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system.

Misusing the relative pronoun ...

Misusing the relative pronoun is a slippery slope, and can end in whomlessness.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

Bagels

Q: How does a bagel protect itself?

A: It puts on locks.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Impersonating A Politician

I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...
I was just sitting there doing nothing.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (14)

Kyle Kinane: Not a Hobby

At this age, its really not a hobby, its just a drinking problem now.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.07/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (27)

Mitch Hedberg: Alcoholism Is a Disease

Alcoholism is a disease, but its the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.64/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (11)

When Life Begins

There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of exactly when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (22)

He was 80, she was 20. It was

He was 80, she was 20. It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year of marriage she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"
He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The following year the young bride gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You are truly amazing. How do you do it?"
Again he said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."
The same thing happened the next year. The nurse then said, "Well, well, well, you certainly are quite a man!"
He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The nurse then said: "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black."
#joke #wedding #bride
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (16)

Easter Egg Hunt

Every year I like to hide a dozen Easter Eggs in the house for the grand children.
This year my wife said "No Way" until I find the two unaccounted for eggs from last year.

#joke #short #food #egg
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.58/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (12)

The boss called one of his emp

The boss called one of his employees into the office.
"Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?"
"Thanks," said the employee.
"Thanks?" the boss replied. "Is that all you can say?"
"I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Short funny jokes-Real sign of getting old!

Initial signs that indicate you are growing old.
Wrinkled skin? No.
Thick eyeglasses? No.
Hair loss? No.
The real sign is - When you begin to love your own wife.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.13/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (8)

Actual Notes From Doctors' Patient Charts...

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male. Mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused an autopsy.

9. The patient has no past history of suicides.

10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. She is numb from her toes down.

15. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

16. The skin was moist and dry.

17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

18. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

19. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

20. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

22. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

23. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

24. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

25. The patient was to have a bowel re-section. However, he took a job as a lawyer instead.

26. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

27. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

28. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who feltwe should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

29. Patient has two teenage children, but no otherabnormalities.

#joke #doctor #lawyer #food #breakfast #lunch #divorce
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

Qualifying For Heaven


Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. "1,228," he answered.
"That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (10)

Funeral expenses

A woman's husband dies. He had left $30,000 to be used for an elaborate funeral.

After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that “there is absolutely nothing left from the $30,000.”

The friend asks, “How can that be?”

The widow says, “Well, the funeral cost was $6,500. And of course I made a donation to the church. That was $500, and I spent another $500 for the wake, food and drinks. The rest went for the memorial stone.

The friend says, “$22,500 for the memorial stone? My God, how big is it?”

The widow says, “Four and a half carats.”

#joke #food #drinks
Joke | Source: everything zoomer - EverythingZoomer.com is the lifestyle site for the discriminating
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (6)

A burglar alarm sent out its p

A burglar alarm sent out its piercing wail in the dark of night in Brooklyn and the police arrived just in time to collar the burglar as he was leaving the premises with a big bag full of loot. Soon, he was in court facing a grim-looking judge.
"Did you have an accomplice?" asked the judge.
"What's an accomplice?" the burglar replied.
"A partner. In other words, did you commit this crime by yourself?"
"What else?" demanded the culprit. "Who can get honest and reliable help these days?"
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Will power problem

Lori, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked.

"Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter?"

Time for your check up

"For god's sake, no!" exclaimed the Nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Jokes Archive

<>April 2025
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930   
NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.