Animal jokes (5851 to 5865)Jokes about animals. These are the jokes listed 5851 to 5865. |
There was a guy riding through...
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been traveling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel.He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.
Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.
The hottest girl said, "If you fix our car we will do anything you want."
The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.
When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr."
After thinking for a short while he replied, "Could you hold my camel?"
There was a farmer who had a b...
There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told his son to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished."Yeah daddy, yeah daddy," said the little boy.
After a while the boy came into the living where his father was talking with some friends. "Say, Pop," said the boy. "Yes," replied his father.
"The bull just f….ed the brown cow."
There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse me" and took his son outside. "Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the white cow."
The father went back inside the house. After a while the boy came in and said, "Hey, Daddy."
"Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"
"He sure did, Pop! He f...ed the brown cow again!"
The Cesium Song 11
Cesium Glows
(Tune, Love's a Rose - Neil Young)
Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when it's on the tongue.
Lips full of holes, you'll know you've kissed it,
Just take a bite if you want to die young.
I want to see what's never been seen,
I want to dream that Cesium dream.
Come on love, we can glow together,
Let's eat it all right now.
Take a bite right now.
I want to lie in a hole in the ground,
Six feet deep, and twelve feet 'round.
Sky blue light around me shinin',
Pale blue worms upon me dinin'.
Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,
It's fire grows when its on your tongue.
Mouth full of holes if ever you kiss it,
Gimme a spoon 'cause I wanna die Young.
---Songs of Cesium #109
One shot pony
An...
One shot pony
An 80 year old man is having his annual checkup.
The doctor asks him how he's feeling, "I've never been better!" he replies. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. *BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him."
"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief, "Someone else must have shot that beaver".
"Exactly." says the doctor.
"Waiter, there's a frog in my ...
"Waiter, there's a frog in my soup."Tony White, Loanhead
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