Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (586 to 600)

Why are blonde jokes so short?

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?

A: So brunettes can remember them!

Air freshener

One day a blonde was driving on the highway and got pulled over by a cop. The cop said "Why do you keep swerving?" The blonde replied "I turn one way and there's a tree, I turn again there's a tree, and then there's a whole bunch more trees popping out of nowhere." The cop replied "You idiot that's your air freshener."

Blonde Car Accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Clean Those Restrooms

On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES."
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

Eating Jell-o

What's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-o?

Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

Blonde Arrow

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Blonde E-Mail

How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail?

Envelopes in the disk drive.

1/2 Blonde

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!

"TGIF" for

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shirt? It stands for, "Tits Go In Front."

Cold Medicine

Mary and Liz (a blonde) were talkin in the office one day.

Mary: "Wow, that is some cold you have Liz."

Liz: "Tell me about it. I just cannot get rid of it."

Mary: "Try some Cold-Doc 3. I have a bottle in my desk. Just

take 3 tablespoons before you go to bed and you'll be fine.

Here ya go."

Liz: "Thanks, I'll give it a try."

Next Day

Liz was standing by her desk jumping up and down, waving her

arms in the air and kicking her legs out.

Mary: "Liz, It is nice to see you are feeling better. Is

that a new dance?"

Liz: "Oh No. I still don't feel that great. I took the

medicine you gave me and just realized it said to shake well

before using."

Blondes working on a house

Two blondes were working on a house. The one

who was nailing down siding would reach into

his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss

it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other,

figuring this was worth looking into, asked,

"Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first explained, "If I pull a nail out

of my pouch and it's pointed toward me, I throw

it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed

toward the house, then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got completely upset and

yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward

you aren't defective! They're for the other side

of the house!"

Blonde and Cool Elephants

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses on?
A: Nothing, she didn't recognize them.

blonde swimmer

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out. The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde". The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

Chuck Norris was born a blonde...

Chuck Norris was born a blonde, but the blood of his victims dyed his hair and beard to a healthy orange.