Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (1006 to 1020)

Corn Field

A blond is driving in her convertable down the high way when she notieces another blond in a boat out in the middle of a corn field. The blond in the boat was roawing the boat. The blond was very frustrated at how stupid the blond in the car was being so she pulled over and got out of the car. She yelled across the hightway, " HEY YOU IN THE BOAT! I'M TALKING TO YOU!" The blond in the boat turned and waved and continued roawing the boat. The blond across the street yelled out again ,"IT'S BLONDS LIKE YOU THAT GIVE US A BAD NAME AND I'D COME GET YOU IF I COULD SWIM!!"

Blonde Laugh

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday? Tell her a joke on Monday!

A highway patrolman pulled alo...

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver--"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"

This blond runs off the road i...

This blond runs off the road in her BMW into a tree bumping her head getting a slight concussion.

All of a sudden she yells out, "Help! I can't see! Please Help me I am blind! Help!"

This paramedic arrives and kneeling in front of her, holds up his hand and says, "It's ok Miss! Calm down! How many fingers have I got up?"

She then blurts,"Fuck I am paralysed too? HELP!

Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies

Q: How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies?
A: Theres M&M shells all over the floor.

Slot machine winner

A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!

She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"

The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"

Cheater

The blonde complained to her friend, "I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his!"

Blonde at the Country Club

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

Question And Answer Blond Jokes

Q: What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.
Q: Did you hear about Pepsi's new soda just for blondes?
A: It has "open other end" printed on the bottom.
Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears?
A: They're refuelling.
Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio?
A: She didn't want one for nights.
Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
A: Her husband is out looking for the other man.
Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet?
A: She was last years hide and seek winner.
Q: What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under the water?
A: A blonde trying to put it out.
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Blonde And a Turtle

What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?

Once their on their back there screwed.

Blonde guy

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby.

One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth.

In the end, there were two little baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father?"

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Yisman

Question And Answer Blond Jokes

Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E, between M and W, or at the end?"
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep from bruising their ears.
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

Big Ben Blonde

Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?

She found out Big Ben was only a clock.

Tilt Steering

Why do Blondes like tilt steering?

Because theres more head room.

A virile, young Italian soldie...

A virile, young Italian soldier was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular Scandinavian-looking young blonde. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk, they made love. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So... you finish?"

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, the young man reached out for her and the love making resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly and there were screams of passion. The love making ends, and again, the young man smiles, and asks, "OK, now you finish?"

And once again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and softly purrs, "No."

Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for the woman. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they climax simultaneously -- screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping bed sheets. The exhausted man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiling proudly, and says, "Now you finish!"

"No!" she shouts back, "I Swedish!"