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Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (1051 to 1065)Jokes about blondes. These are funny jokes with blondes! These are the jokes listed 1051 to 1065. |
Hurts All Over
A blonde goes to her doctor complaining of body pains.Her doctor asked "Where does it hurt?"
She touches her elbow and says, "here." She then touches her
knee and says "here too."
The doctor asks if it hurts anywhere else.
She says it seems to be everything she touches hurts.
The doctor says, "Well there is your problem. Your finger
is broken."
A blonde goes into the drug st...
A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers. She walks up to the pharmacist and asks "How much for a box of rubbers?""They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax."
"Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."
Blonde Avoiding Trees
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.
"Mam, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road"?
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."
A blonde's car gets a flat tyr...
A blonde's car gets a flat tyre on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.
The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer...
"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replies
New scarf
A blonde walks into a winter clothing store. She picks out a scarf and brings it to the counter to pay for it.When she gets home, she turns right back around and takes it back to the store.
The store clerk asks why she's returning the scarf. "Because," she says, "it's too tight!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
A blonde is terribly overweigh...
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat these same steps for 3 weeks. The next time you come here, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded..."I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping!"
Blonde Firing Squad
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde that were captured and ordered before the firing squad. The redhead was brought out, put on the stand and at the time when the squad leader yelled "Ready, aim..." she shouted "Tornado!" and pointed behind the firing squad. Everyone looked and she jumped down and ran away.They brought out the brunette, put her up on the stand and when the squad leader yelled, "Ready, aim..." she pointed and yelled "Earthquake!". When everyone stopped to look around, she ran away.
Finally, the firing squad brought the blonde out and when the squad leader yelled "Ready, aim..." she pointed and yelled "Fire!"
