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Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (1066 to 1080)Jokes about blondes. These are funny jokes with blondes! These are the jokes listed 1066 to 1080. |
This blond came into the airpo...
This blond came into the airport to buy a ticket to Porta Viarte. When asked if she wanted a coach or first class she said, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Porta Viarte on vacation." Again the agent asked, "will this be first class?" The blond answered, "no, make it coach." So the ticket was processed for coach.The blond went to the gate, handed the agent her ticket and got on the plane, but she went to the first class section. The stewardess told her she would have to move to the back of the plane because her ticket was for coach.
The blond said, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going on vacation to Porta Viarte, I will go first class." So the stewardess asked another stewardess to see what she could do. Same thing happened. So they got the co-captain to help, same thing happened. So they asked the captain to help.
The captain looked at the blonde and smiled, bent over and said something in her ear. The blond jumped up, hurried to the back section and sat down. Now in amazement, the crew wanted to know what the captain said to her. The captain just smiled at them and said, I told her "the first class doesn't go to Porta Viarte."
A blonde was driving home one ...
A blonde was driving home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a bad hail storm. The hailstones were the size of golf balls. Her car was dented beyond description.The next day, she took it to a repair shop. Noticing that she was blonde, the technician decided to have some fun. He told her to take the car home and blow real hard into the tailpipe and the dents would pop out.
When she got home, she started blowing into the tailpipe as she was instructed. At that moment, her blonde girlfriend drove by and saw her puffing on the tailpipe.
Thinking the worst, the friend was startled and said, "What are you doing?"
She said that the man at the body shop told her to blow into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.
Her girlfriend said, "Well, duhhhhhh! You need to roll up the windows first!"
What type of prize did you win?
A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!"
The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!"
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as one of our prizes."
Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!"
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A BAGEL."
barber crime
A Blonde was siting in a barber chair with headphones on.The barber asked the blonde to take off her headphones, she
replied "No I can't". So the Barber waited for the Blonde to
fall asleep then he took off her headphones. Idmeniently she
died. During the police Investigation one of the officers
listend to the tape the blonde was listning to. This is what
he heard: "Breath in, Breath out, Breath in, breath out.....
A guy gets on a plane and find...
A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.
"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.
So let's talk."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, " What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know,"says the guy.
"How about nuclear power?"
"OK," says the blonde.
"That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first.
A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff--grass.
Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?
Great hooters
Sally (a blonde) was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, never saw Sally looking' so sad.Liz, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay...but you look so sad. Why??"
Sally, "Cause I just can't get a man."
Liz, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods."
Sally, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods cause I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it."
Liz, "I don't understand what you're talking about."
Sally, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage."
Liz, "So, how's that going help you get a man."
Sally, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters."
Fifteen minutes into the fligh...
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our four engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled."Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "Our number two engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "Our number three engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "I hope that fourth engine keeps working, or we'll be up here all day!"
Question And Answer Blond Jokes
Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC?
A: A dumb terminal.
Q: Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand?
A: So brunettes can understand them.
Q: How did the blond burn her ear?
A: The phone rang while she was ironing.
Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".
Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?
A: Because blondes would have to think them up.
Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?
A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"?
A: When she got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia.
Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box?
A: A case of empties.
There were two blondes going t...
There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer.A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though.
One of the blondes says, "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"
Overweight Blonde
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor said she should run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose the 20 pounds she's been trying to get rid of.The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky 20 pounds.
She then phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.
At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:
"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
New secretary...
A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither, He's bald."
